Sermon: Parlance
by Chris Cumming            see sermon, “Brash”

In the sermon, “Brash” I began with a reading from Ephesians 4 and 5.  The key verses were found in chapter 5:

Ephesians 5:3-4
3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 
4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. 

I then shared with you ten (10) questions from both chapters 4 and 5:

Questions: (the number of questions should indicate to you the depth of this subject)
1] what is corrupt communication (verse 29)?
2] what does it mean to “grieve not the Holy Spirit of God?” How does one grieve the Holy Spirit (verse 30)?  What words or acts might result in this happening?  Is grieving the Holy Spirit the same as “quenching the Holy Spirit” (1 Thessalonians 5:19)?
3] what does it mean to “walk in love” (verse 2)?  Does walking in love have anything to do with holiness?  What is the main definition of the biblical word, “holy?”
4] what does “filthiness” mean here (verse 4)?
5] what is foolish talking (verse 4)?
6] what is jesting (verse 4)?
7] why would these three elements not be convenient (verse 4)?
8] do these admonitions against foolish talking and jesting call for a total removal of humor, friendly banter, joke-telling and wittiness from our lives and conduct?
9] what elements in your life are sacred and holy things?
10] what is the opposite of “corrupt communication?”

The purpose of that sermon was to encourage all of us to, “Utter good Communication.”  We will continue with this same purpose today.

Utter good communication.

At the same time I was working out the sermon, “Brash” I saw another item on the Internet that I thought might make for the basis of a good sermon.  I had no idea at the time that both sermons would compliment each other so well.

If you will remember, I told you that the sermon, “Brash” was the basis of a lifelong tool that you must acclimate to your own unique life in the salvation process.  What I am about to share with you are more elements for that tool that help you to utter good communication with yourself, those in the faith, individuals in the world and most importantly before Jesus Christ and God the Father.

The title of the piece I found on the Internet is, “When To Keep Your Mouth Shut.”  Such a title immediately begs the question, “Is there, also, a list of things firstfruits should talk about according to God’s Word?”  Yes, there is and this will make for a third sermon on uttering good communication.

Today, let us look at situations in which God encourages us to keep silent.

Don't open your Mouth in the following situations:

1] In the heat of anger.

Proverbs 14:17
He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated. 

The commentary:

The contrast lies between two forms of evil. Hasty anger acts foolishly, but the “man of wicked devices,” vindictive and insidious, incurs all men’s hatred. ~Barnes Notes

He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly - A man that is quick and short, of a hasty spirit, and presently discovers anger and resentment in his face; he says and does many foolish things, which he afterwards is sorry for, and repents, and is ashamed of; and he is to be pitied and forgiven. ~John Gill

And a man of wicked devices is hated - one that hides his anger, covers his resentment, contrives schemes to revenge himself, and waits an opportunity to put them in execution, is justly hateful to God and men. ~John Gill

2] When you do not have all the facts.

Proverbs 18:13
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. 

The commentary:

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it - Who is impatient, and cannot wait to hear it out, but breaks in upon the speaker before he has finished what he has to say; or is rash and precipitate, and returns an answer at once, without weighing and considering, and thoroughly understanding, what is said. ~John Gill

It is folly and shame unto him - his answer must be a foolish one, and bring shame and confusion upon him; men should be "swift to hear", and "slow to speak" ~John Gill

3] When you have not verified the story.

Deuteronomy 17:6
At the mouth of two witnesses, or three witnesses, shall he that is worthy of death be put to death; but at the mouth of one witness he shall not be put to death. 

An important and often overlook principle is given here.  Vetting and verification is encouraged.  Before we were given the Matthew 18 (the offending brother chapter), God's people were given Deuteronomy.  As I read this verse, contemplate how it is like Matthew 18.

This section is about laws concerning witnesses when someone has been accused of something.  It covers true and false witnesses.

Deuteronomy 19:16-20
16 If a false witness rise up against any man to testify against him that which is wrong; 
17 Then both the men, between whom the controversy is, shall stand before the LORD, before the priests and the judges, which shall be in those days; 
18 And the judges shall make diligent inquisition: and, behold, if the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against his brother; 
19 Then shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you. 
20 And those which remain shall hear, and fear, and shall henceforth commit no more any such evil among you. 

4] If your words will offend a weaker brother.

1 Corinthians 8:11 ...the meat offered to idols chapter.
And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? 

Note:  This verse is essentially speaking to personal elements of belief (PEB).  The "knowledgeable" know that the idol means nothing and that there is nothing wrong in eating the meat.  However, the weaker brother may not yet have this knowledge or has a PEB that states he is still not going to eat such meat.  Therefore, do not offend your brother/sister in the faith by waxing eloquent about your PEB.  Know his/her PEBs and act and speak so as not to offend.  The key word in PEB is "personal."

5] If your words will be a poor reflection of the Lord or your friends and family.

1 Peter 2:21-23
21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: 
22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: 
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: 

The commentary for "no guile found in his mouth."  There was no deceit, hypocrisy, or insincerity in his speech. ~Barnes Notes

From the John Gill: "there was no deceit in his lips, no falsehood in his doctrine, any more than there was immorality in his conversation."

6] When you are tempted to joke about sin.

Proverbs 14:9
Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.

Note:  This one speaks clearly.  Do not joke about a sin or sins collectively.

7] When you would be ashamed of your words later.

Proverbs 8:8
All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them. 

Note: The second phrase in this verse describes what is not righteousness.  Notice the commentary:

There is nothing froward or perverse in them -  that is contrary to right reason, or to the law of God, or to the Scriptures of truth, or to the analogy of faith; nor is there any contradiction in the doctrines of the Gospel one to another, but an entire harmony and uniformity in them; they are not "yea" and "nay". ~John Gill

There is nothing froward - tortuous, involved, or difficult.

Or perverse - distorted, leading to obstinacy [being stubborn]. Being contrary. ~Adam Clarke

8] When you are tempted to make light of holy things.  This was covered in detail in the sermon "Brash."

Ecclesiastes 5:2
Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter anything before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few. 

The commentary for "Be not rash with thy mouth": - Do not hasten with thy mouth; weigh thy words, feel deeply, think much, speak little. ~Adam Clarke

The commentary for verses 1-3: Address thyself to the worship of God, and take time to compose thyself for it. Keep thy thoughts from roving and wandering: keep thy affections from running out toward wrong objects. ~Matthew Henry concise

9] If your words would convey a wrong impression

Proverbs 17:27
He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. 

The commentary for "He that hath knowledge spareth his words.": Or, "he that knows knowledge"; one that is very knowing, has a fund of knowledge in him, "spareth his words"; is generally a man of few words, he thinks much and says little; and though he may be communicative of his knowledge to proper persons, and at proper times, yet never speaks of it in a boasting and ostentatious [os-ten-tey-shuhs] way: or, he "restrains his words"; he puts a bridle on them; and suffers not himself to speak hastily and angrily, and in a reproachful manner. ~John Gill

10] If the issue is none of your business

Proverbs 14:10
The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy. 

Example of the meaning here: Say an individual is going through a painful divorce.  It is very painful for him.  It would be wrong for you to wax eloquent about how wonderful your spouse and your marriage are.  Romans 12:15 comes into play here: "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep."

11] When you are tempted to tell an outright lie, to include "little white lies" or greater. 
(see Minister's Notebook piece, "Little White Lies.")

Proverbs 4:24
Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee. 

The commentary for "froward mouth.": Beware of hastiness, anger, and rash speeches. ~Adam Clarke

The commentary for "perverse lips.": Do not delight in nor acquire the habit of contradicting and gainsaying; and beware of calumniating [kuh-luhm-nee-yet-ing] and backbiting your neighbor. ~Adam Clarke

12] If your words will damage someone's reputation.

Proverbs 16:27
An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire. 

Note: There are mental illnesses out there where individuals build themselves up by tearing down and/or destroying the lives of others.  What ultimately happens to these individuals who dig pits to push his brother/sister into?

Psalm 7:15-16
15 He made a pit, and digged it, and is fallen into the ditch which he made. 
16 His mischief shall return upon his own head, and his violent dealing shall come down upon his own pate (head or brain). 

13] If your words will destroy a friendship.

Proverbs 25:28
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. 

Note:  This confirms what I just read in Psalm 7.  The commentaries describe the individual with no rule over his own spirit as one liable to every sin, snare, and temptation of Satan (John Gill).

14] When you are feeling overly critical.

James 3:8-10
8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 
9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 
10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 

Note:  We cannot praise God by our words and thoughts and then turn around and being overly critical of our fellow man.  Better than pushing the individual down with criticism, we should build him/her up with the principles of and the words of God.

15] If you cannot speak without yelling

Proverbs 25:28 ...repeat from above
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. 

Note:  Whereas God, Christ and a righteous firstfruit use passionate volume in certain discourses, the person with no rule over his/her own spirit will use yelling to support his/her weak position.  The human psyche (soul, spirit, mind) knows the difference between these forms of yelling (volume) and will retreat from the negative ones.

16] When it is time to listen rather than talk.

Proverbs 13:1
A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke. 

Note: Though seemingly straight forward, this verse has great depth and application.  It begins with listening to the instructions of God the Father, as we are doing right now.  The more we see and understand the value of listening to Him, the more we will listen, rather than talking, when we encounter anyone or anything with wisdom and/or which will give us understanding.

17] If you may have to eat your words later.

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. 

Note: This verse goes along with Psalm 7:15 and the individual digging pits in which to push his brother.  How many times have we seen depicted the situation where a person lies and are later caught in those lies?  Same goes for corruption, deceit, adultery, stealing and all sin:

Luke 12:2-3
2 For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. 
3 Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. 

18] If you have already said it more than one time (then it becomes nagging).

Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. 

This goes along with James 3:8-10 we discussed above and the concept of pushing your brother down with criticism.  Shut our mouths to constant criticism and build the person up.  Joy and pleasantness produce more that constant beating with a verbal stick.

19] When you are tempted to flatter a wicked person.

Proverbs 24:24
He that saith unto the wicked, Thou art righteous; him shall the people curse, nations shall abhor him: 

Note:  How many times have we seen this in politics and history?  There are several examples of individuals in history praising Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong and even Kim Jong-un.  The backlash on individuals giving such praise is legion.

20] When you are supposed to be working instead.

Proverbs 14:23
In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury [pen-yuh-ree]. 

Note:  This verse is speaking to much more than talking too much when your focus should be on your job.  Notice the commentary:

But the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury [pen-yuh-ree - extreme poverty] - A man that spends his time in idle talk, boasting of what he can do and does, and yet does nothing, is in a fair way to come to beggary: so all talk about wisdom, and knowledge, and religion, without making use of the proper means of improvement, tends to the poverty of the mind; and generally they are most empty of knowledge, natural or spiritual, that talk and brag most of it; empty casks make the greatest sound; good discourse, wholesome words, sound doctrine, thoroughly digested, tend indeed to edification, to the enriching of the mind; but vain words, the enticing words of men's wisdom; logomachies, striving about words to no profit; and all great swelling words of vanity, which are all mere lip labour; they tend to spiritual poverty and leanness of soul.

So now you have more elements to add to the Brash sermon.  More things to meditate and pray about.

Utter good communication.

Let us finish with Proverbs 21:23

Proverbs 21:23
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

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