by Chris Cumming
Today we are going to solve a mystery! Actually this mystery was solved centuries ago in scripture.
It is a mystery that was written almost 2000 years ago in one of the books of your Bible. What I am about to present is not newly revealed knowledge. You may have heard it before. Some have not.
There are many elements and individuals involved in this mystery. It involves God, Jesus Christ, the Church and the institution of marriage.
This mystery is about how these elements…
1. Relate to each other.
2. How they complement one another.
3. How they, each, work to describe the other.
Does Christ reveal something about the church?
Does the God Family reveal something about the human family and marriage?
Does the institution of marriage reveal something about the church or the God Family?
Finally, does the church reveal anything about God, Christ or marriage?
My purpose today will be to answer these questions; to…
Solve the mystery.
Now before we can solve the mystery, we must read that mysterious book I have been speaking of.
What could that book be?
Is it the book of Revelation?
Is it the book of Daniel?
Well, it is neither of these.
It is the book of Ephesians.
The main part of my sermon is going to focus on just 13 verses of this book, but we must get an overview first of the whole book.
In my Bible, the introduction to this books states:
Paul’s letter to the Ephesians is truly profound, transcending the pettiness of some of the other churches.
The major theme of Ephesians is the church is the mystical body of Christ. God’s great master plan is to bring everything together under Christ as head.
Let us look at some of the verses of Ephesians showing this.
Turn to Ephesians 1 and beginning in verse 3
Ephesians 1:3-5
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:
4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will.
(answers a question about why God called us—“according to the good pleasure of his will.”)
Ephesians 1:10-11
10 That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:
11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:
Continuing in my Bible’s introduction to Ephesians:
We, as the body of Christ on earth, have a part in this plan and the Holy Spirit is the guarantee of God’s promise. (look at Ephesians 1 and verse 13)
Ephesians 1:13-14
13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,
14 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.
Now I want to look at what another commentator, Frank Viola says about Ephesians:
The epistle to the Ephesians contains the highest theme concerning God’s thought regarding His Church. The book opens with the heavenly and eternal scope of the Church and ends with its practical expression. Throughout Ephesians, Paul exhausts human language to get us to see the central place the Church has in God’s heart from eternity to eternity.
In Chapter 1, Paul introduces us to the glorious truth that God has eternally chosen the church in Christ before the foundation of the world.
Ephesians 1:22 says…
And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church.
In chapter 2, we discover that the Church is the Lord’s eternal building wherein ever member is built together into the Head to become the habitation of God.
Look at Ephesians 2: 19-22
Ephesians 2:19-22
19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;
21 In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord:
22 In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.
In chapter 3, the mystery of the Church is unfolded before our eyes. Here we discover that the church is the centerpiece of God’s eternal purpose…
Turn over a page to Ephesians 3 and beginning in verse 4
Ephesians 3:4-11
4 Whereby, when ye read, ye may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ)
5 Which in other ages was not made known unto the sons of men, as it is now revealed unto his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit;
6 That the Gentiles should be fellowheirs, and of the same body, and partakers of his promise in Christ by the gospel:
7 Whereof I was made a minister, according to the gift of the grace of God given unto me by the effectual working of his power.
8 Unto me, who am less than the least of all saints, is this grace given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ;
9 And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ:
10 To the intent that now unto the principalities and powers in heavenly places might be known by the church the manifold wisdom of God,
11 According to the eternal purpose which he purposed in Christ Jesus our Lord:
In chapter 4, stress is laid upon the eternal oneness of the church and its enlargement through the supply of every member by the eternal principle of Love.
Look at Ephesians 4 and verse 15
Ephesians 4:15-16
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.
In chapter 5, it is the Church as the eternal Bride of Christ that is in view.
As stated in Frank Viola’s commentary, Paul exhausts human language to get us to see the central place the church has in God’s heart.
He uses metaphor after metaphor to try to express this great mystery. He finds that words almost cannot capture this holy, eternal, and spiritual truth.
In Chapter 1, Paul uses the metaphor of the Body.
Ephesians 1:22-23 says…
22 And (God) hath put all things under his feet, and gave him (Christ) to be the head over all things to the church,
23 Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.
With respect to Christ, the Church is HIS BODY. The purpose of a body is to express one’s personality and life.
As the Body of Christ, the Church displays Christ on the earth. The Church is actually a Person; it is Christ in corporate expression.
Without the Church, Christ has no means of expression in the earth.
1 Corinthians 12 details many of the principles that govern the operation of the Body of Christ.
One of the most important principles illustrated in 1 Corinthians 12 is that of dependence.
In a word, Christ cannot be fully expressed through one member—it requires all the members together to manifest Him.
(remember the lesson of Lachish) Lachish was a city south that protected Jerusalem from any invading hordes approaching from the south. There were similar fortified cities to the north, east and west. If one of these cities fell, Jerusalem was in peril. At one point in history, Lachish turned to idolatry and God did not bless them anymore. When the invading hordes of Sennacherib came, Lachish fell. Jerusalem was now in peril and would have fallen had God not intervened and killed Sennacherib and all his army. (2 Chronicles 32; 2 Kings 18 and Isaiah 36)
1 Corinthians 12: 17-19 talks about, “If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing…etc.
In Chapter 2, the metaphor is the House of God. With respect to God the Father, the church is His Household.
In the Old Testament, God dwelt in both the tabernacle and the temple. Now, however, God through the Holy Spirit dwells in His corporate Man---The Church.
Comment: Remember when I talked about the temple and tabernacle being a pattern in the Old Testament for the human body of the New Testament?
We are the temple now. God’s Spirit is now in us and we are one with Christ and God the Father.
Now I want to go to the 3rd metaphor of Ephesians and the main focus of my message today.
It is the centerpiece of this mystery that includes God the Father, Jesus Christ, the church and the institution of marriage.
It is found in Ephesians 5 and beginning in verse 21
(turn on overhead and read)—showing Eph 5:21-33
Now, the key to this whole mystery is this:
For decades in the church, the ministry has gone to these scriptures when the message they were giving was about marriage.
Actually, the focus of these verses are not about marriage but about God and Christ and the church.
If you can understand what the marriage metaphor is saying about God, Christ and the church…you find out what the secret is to a happy marriage.
In other words, if all we do is talk about the metaphor, and not look at and solve the mystery of verse 32, we will not truly understand how to have the best marriage in all of God universe!
Let us do that now. (Read and Commentary)
Begin with Ephesians 5 and verse 21…
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God
Q1–What do you think it means to submit yourselves to one another?
When we submit to one another, it means we consider the other persons feelings as important as our own.
This is the foundation of any Christian relationship, but it is especially important for husbands and wives to submit themselves one to another.
When we care about the other person and put their feelings first, we will be fulfilling the love of God
Now let us read the next 3 verses…
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Q2–Do these verses mean wives should be in complete subservience to their husbands?
These verses do not mean that a wife is supposed to be a slave to her husband. But the wife needs to submit herself to her husband as a partner in marriage. The husband and wife must be in agreement in order for a marriage to work, and they must learn how to communicate their feelings to each other. A wife should not make an important family decision without submitting it to her husband just as a husband should not make an important decision without considering his wife’s feelings and concerns.
Another commentary says…
This statement may come as a surprise to those who have been used to place undue stress on a husband’s authority over his wife. To be sure, he has that authority and should exercise it, but never in a domineering manner.
The comparison with Christ as head of the church reveals in what sense the husband is the wife’s head. He is her head as being vitally interested in her welfare. He is her protector. His pattern is Christ who, as head of the church, is its Savior!"
Now verse 25
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Q3–How much did Christ love the church? What do you think this verse is teaching husbands about how to treat their wives?
How much should husbands love their wives? As much as Christ loved us by dying for us. Husbands need to be willing to make sacrifices for their family. They must be willing to sacrifice their own wants and ambitions for the good of the marriage. If husbands would concentrate on the teaching in this verse, we would have fewer marital problems.
Now verses 26 and 27
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Q4–How does Christ cleanse his church? How can we apply this to the marriage relationship?
Just as Christ cleanses his church, we can have a positive influence on our spouse. It is easier to follow the Christian walk when those around us are also setting a good Christian example.
Remember1 Corinthians 7:13-14…
And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband....
Now verses 28 and 29
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.
Q5–What do these verses teach husbands about how they are to treat their wives?
Notice this verse tells us that men nourish and cherish their own flesh. This is given as an example of how husbands are to treat their wives.
Cherish – Husbands must cherish their wives. They must be concerned for their welfare, and they must not be afraid to express their love. If we cherish someone, we want only the best for them.
Nurture – Husbands need to nurture their wives. I think this means help them to reach their full potential –encourage them and assist them in their endeavors. There’s an old saying "Behind every successful man is a woman." But I think it’s equally important that behind every successful woman is her husband helping, nurturing, and encouraging her.
Let us read verse 30
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Q6–Who should be in control of our marriage relationship?
If we are members of Christ’s body, we need to allow him to control our actions. Demanding to have our own way is not Christ-like. We must learn to submit our marriage to God and act according to what he wants in our life.
Another commentary says
"...since Christ as our head, so devotedly cares for us, members of his body, let husbands take this to heart and let them strive to emulate Christ in the loving attention which they focus upon their...wives."
Now the last 3 verses—31 through 33…
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Q7–According to verse 33, what is the most important thing that a husband should do and what is the most important thing that a wife should do?
Why do you think these two things are emphasized?
In this verse is an amazing synopsis of how husbands and wives need to treat each other. In my experience the biggest problems in marriages revolve around different perceptions by husbands and wives. Men and women are different, and husbands and wives have different needs. Two thousand years ago the Holy Spirit gave Paul insight that can be applied today.
Wives need to feel loved. The fact that the husband does things for his wife – earns money, helps around the house, spends time with the children – is not enough. Wives want to know that they are loved.
Men naturally will care for their wives, but some have a problem showing their love. So Paul writes here in a nutshell the most important thing for a husband to do – love his wife. Husbands need to learn how to show their feelings to their spouse and to say the words often, "I love you."
But my experience has been that for the husband, the need is different. Even more than knowing that their wives love them, husbands want most that their wives respect them. It is necessary for a wife to not humiliate her husband or put him down, especially in public, but also in private. Wives will naturally love their husbands, but what their spouses want most is respect. So Paul writes that a wife should "respect her husband."
This mystery is a great one but maybe we can solve it with just one more key.
It is found in the Song of Solomon and you do not have to turn there but it says in chapter 2 and verse 16…
My beloved is mine, and I am his…
In the Song of Solomon we see the love of Christ and his church running towards each other in a full torrent.
Our physical marriage is the same. We fashion everything we say and do to our husbands and wives as we would to Christ. He is the standard by how we form each word and execute each deed.
The mystery is that the best marriage in the universe is one in which each partner IS Christ (i.e. like Him) in everything they do together.
My beloved wife, Joan is mine, and I am hers.