Sermon: Effrontery
...a sermon about Rudeness
by Chris Cumming
In May of 2007, 615 employees of two Baltimore-based companies, along
with employees and students at the University of Baltimore were asked to
take part in a survey. The participants rated 30 examples of rude
behavior from 1 (not offensive) to 5 (most offensive).
Here is the list of "Terrible Ten" behaviors:
1. Discrimination in an
employment situation
2. Erratic or aggressive driving that endangers others
3. Taking credit for someone else's work
4. Treating service providers as inferiors
5. Jokes or remarks that mock another's race, gender, age, disability, sexual
preference or religion
6. Children behaving aggressively or bullying others
7. Littering (including trash, spitting, pet waste)
8. Misuse of handicapped privileges
9. Smoking in non-smoking places or smoking in front of non-smokers without
asking
10. Using cell phones or text messaging in mid-conversation or during an
appointment or meeting.
Recently I was contacted by a member who was also concerned about rudeness. As
I thought about it I began remembering a number of incidents I had seen in the
church where members engaged in rude behavior. That lead me to the obvious
question, “What does the Bible have to about rudeness or the personal behavior
between firstfruit brothers in the church. What I came to conclude is the
purpose of this sermon…
“There is no room for rudeness or effrontery in God’s Church.” That is, let us
get rid of the effrontery in our lives.
“Eradicate the Rudeness.”
Let us take a look at some word meanings. These are all words related to
rudeness.
Rude
1. discourteous or impolite, especially in a deliberate way: a rude reply.
2. without culture, learning, or refinement: rude, illiterate peasants.
3. rough in manners or behavior; unmannerly; uncouth.
4. rough, harsh, or ungentle: rude hands.
5. roughly wrought, built, or formed; of a crude construction or kind: a rude
cottage. [in this case a roughly wrought demeanor or behavior]
Effrontery
shameless or impudent boldness; barefaced audacity: She had the effrontery to
ask for two free samples.
Audacity means to be heedless of social or moral restraints.
Presumption
1. the act of presuming
2. bold or insolent behaviour or manners. Being presumptuous: “Hey, I hear
you have some 40-year-old Scotch. How about pouring me a double.”
Shameless
1. lacking any sense of shame: immodest; audacious [recklessly daring].
2. insensible to disgrace.
3. showing no shame.
What we are going to see is that the Word of God is admonishing us to be just
the opposite of rude and to therefore eliminate it from the congregation.
First I want to add to that list of rudeness that we have above. I found these
by surfing the Internet and looking a several lists of rude behavior.
1] frequently being late.
2] taking advantage of a friendship.
3] Using manipulation.
4] Put someone on the spot.
5] doing business with a friend and assuming or demanding a discount.
6] asking anyone for a loan.
7] not paying back a loan.
8] not returning a borrowed item.
9] asking for a ride and then asking the driver to make unscheduled stops.
10] asking your friend to buy you a drink, lunch or anything from the store.
11] Not listening.
12] making an unscheduled call to someone and then keeping them on the line.
13] making a friend, coworker or superior the butt of any joke.
14] not controlling your children at church or in the home of your friend.
15]treating or talking about service providers as inferiors.
16] driving aggressively while your friend is a passenger.
17] cutting in line.
18] walking to fast and forcing your friend to keep up.
19] disturbing others with anything loud or disruptive.
20]Yawning, coughing or sneezing without covering one’s mouth.
21] Neglecting personal grooming in the presence of friends or any firstfruits.
22]Not controlling nervous behavior in the presence of a friend or member, such
as rattling keys, change in the pocket, pacing, cracking knuckles, biting your
nails or taping your pencil on the desk.
23] Seeking praise from others.
24] Engaging in one-upmanship.
25] Not invoking the Matthew 18 process.
Let me something about this last one first. The Matthew 18 process was designed
to save both members to the church and to save friendships within the church.
It was designed to get all offenses [including all cases of offensive
rudeness] out into the open where it can be identified, acknowledged,
forgiven and destroyed or controlled.
If the Matthew 18 process is not invoked, then the offended brother is going to
harbor the pain and the offense and this will lead to resentment and possibly
even bitterness and that will lead to everyone in the church suffering.
Did you hear what I said just now? I just put part of the responsibility of
eradicating rudeness in the church on the shoulders of the victim of the
rudeness or effrontery. It is going to have to take every firstfruit in the
congregation to get rid of the rudeness.
The goal is to get rid of rudeness in the church. There is only ONE way to
accomplish this. Each of us must begin this task by getting rid of the rudeness
in our own lives.
Never attempt to get rid of the rudeness in others. In the Salvation Process,
the only one you can change is yourself. What you can do is pray the rude
offenders around you hear this sermon or one like it, identify the rudeness in
themselves and then use the Word of God and the power of God to put it out. Let
us begin in the Love Chapter:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not
itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked,
thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all
things.
The New English Bible renders verses 4 and 5 this way:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or
rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
Notice the phrase there, “It does not insist on its own way.” Go back to my
examples of the guest boldly and rudely asking for a double portion of the man’s
40-year old Scotch or the person who had already asked for a ride to cause the
driver to make unscheduled stops or to even ask that the driver buy him coffee
or a meal. Any member doing these types of things is not invoking love. He is
seeking his own way. He is demanding of or seeking to get something from the
other person. That is causing effrontery. This is offensive.
At the same time, let us talk about the other member for a moment; in these
cases the one with the 40-year old Scotch or the driver of the car giving his
friend a ride. He, as a maturing firstfruit should always be thinking about
those less fortunate. He should be looking for opportunities to give.
Think about this for a moment, especially if you have been the victim of such
rudeness. What would make you feel better:
1] having the passenger in the car pressuring you to stop and buy him coffee? OR
2] you offering to stop and buy him a cup of coffee?
I believe the answer to be obvious. Turn to Acts 20 and verse 35.
Acts 20:35
I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the
weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more
blessed to give than to receive.
It is especially more blessed to give when it is your idea first.
Are you beginning to see how this works? It is going to be the work of both the
invoker of rudeness and the victim to get rid of the rudeness all together. If
in just hearing this part of the sermon you have identified yourself as the
instigator of rudeness, you have to stop asking people for things in such a
way. If you are the victim of rudeness, you have to overcome all that by
upgrading your behavior of giving to others. Your giving is going to go a long
way to end the effrontery.
Now this does not mean that one must share his 40-year old Scotch with everyone
that asks. The gentle and appropriate reply might be, “you know, I’m saving
that bottle of Scotch for a very special occasion but could I interest you in my
12 or 15-year old single malt bottle of fine Scotch?” The other firstfruit
should take such a suggestion into account and gladly and thankfully accept the
15-year old Scotch.
If you are the passenger in the car and you would really like the driver to buy
you lunch, either accept his invitation to coffee or, better yet, if you are
able, offer to buy the coffee or the lunch.
Romans 12:10
Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring
one another.
The New English Bible renders it this way:
Romans 12:10
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
1 Corinthians 10:24
Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth.
Take the first part of this verse. How can you be rude if you are not seeking
your own…looking to what you can get? If everyone in the church would put more
focus on giving than getting, rudeness would all but disappear.
Now take the second part of the verse. What does it mean to “seek every man
another’s wealth”? Let us look at the commentary for the answer.
But every man another’s wealth - The word “wealth” is not in the Greek.
Literally, “that which is of another;” the word τὸ to referring to anything
and everything that pertains to his comfort, usefulness, happiness, or salvation
- The sentiment of the whole is, “when a man is bound and directed by no
positive law, his grand rule should be the comfort and salvation of others.”
This is a simple rule; it might be easily applied; and this would be a sort of
balance-wheel in the various actions and plans of the world. If every man would
adopt this rule, he could not be in much danger of going wrong; he would be
certain that he would not live in vain. ~Barnes Notes
So, both parties, [those of you that have identified yourselves as being rude
in the past, and those who have been victims of rudeness from other firstfruits]
should be looking to everything that pertains to the comfort and happiness of
the other firstfruits in the congregation. What are their needs? How can I
help? What joy can I create? What gift could I give?
Now let us go back to the first part of the verse again, “Let no man seek his
own.” What does the commentary say here?
Let no man seek his own - Let none, for his private gratification or emolument,
disturb the peace or injure the soul of another. Let every man live, not for
himself, but for every part of the great human family with which he is
surrounded. ~Adam Clarke
To those that would seek their own…cut it out. Stop asking people for things
and start exercising faith knowing that God already knows what you need and
desire and if it be His will for you to have it, He will put that opportunity in
the path of your brother and he will give it to you. As the meaning of the
scripture states, do not disturb the peace or injure the soul of another. Wait
for him to give. Remember, he is probably hearing this sermon too so he is
taking the admonition to look for opportunities to give. He is probably already
looking at you. So is God.
And what would God say at this point in the sermon? Turn to Hebrews 13:5
Hebrews 13:5
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things
as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
If you are filling your life with giving, you have little time for coveting and
acting out in rudeness to get those things you desire.
Question: Should a firstfruit be seeking the hospitality of his brother in the
faith or being ready always to offer hospitality yourself? You are currently in
Hebrews 13; go back 4 verses to verse 1
Hebrews 13:1-3
1 Let brotherly love continue.
2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained
angels unawares.
The more you are offering your hospitality rather than seeking it from others,
the more opportunity you will have of fulfilling this verse and someday
entertaining angels…right?
Titus 3:1-3
1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey
magistrates, to be ready to every good work,
2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness
unto all men.
3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving
divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one
another.
One who is acting rudely and taking advantage of his friendships in the church
to get something could be in danger of “serving their divers lusts and
pleasures.”
So the question now is, "What causes rudeness and effrontery?
I got the following list from,
"The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude" by P. M. Forni who is a
leading authority on civility or courteous behavior.
What causes rudeness?
1. Individualism and lack of restraint—I’ll do it my way. When we care little
about what others think of us, we think little of them. We feel less bound by
respect and restraint.
2. Inflated self-worth—People who are self-absorbed don’t value others except as
a means to fulfill needs and desires.
3. Low self-worth—People who are insecure may become defensive and hostile.
4. Materialism—The quest for money and possessions to be happier often is futile
and frustrating, resulting in less kindness to others.
5. Injustice—People who perceive they have been treated unfairly can become
demoralized, depressed, indignant or outraged. The injustice may be a feeling of
envy—it’s unfair that you are smarter, better looking, wealthier than I am.
6. Stress—People who are overworked or overwhelmed with things to do can react
from stress.
7. Being anonymous—We move among strangers on the streets; we don’t know our
neighbors.
8. Not needing others—“We are content in electronic isolation. This is not
exactly a strong incentive to work on our social skills….We want the feeling
that we can connect with them without the burden of having them at our door.”
9. Anger
10. Fear
11. Mental health problems
With the possible exception of number 11, all of these can be overcome in the
Salvation Process by the power of God in us. We have to learn to invoke the act
of being courteous.
1 Peter 3:8
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as
brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
If we are all learning to outgive the other, we will have the natural outgrowth
of compassion. The more you give, the more you develop compassion. Compassion
is love. When these Godly principles move into our heart, rudeness must leave.
Let us go to the commentary on
this one as it has six parts:
Finally - As the last direction, or as general counsel in reference to your
conduct in all the relations of life. The apostle had specified most of the
important relations which Christians sustain, 1 Peter 2:13-25; 1 Peter 3:1-7;
and he now gives a general direction in regard to their conduct in all those
relations.
Be ye all of one mind - See Romans 12:16. The word used here does not elsewhere
occur in the New Testament. It means, of the same mind; like-minded; and the
object is to secure harmony in their views and feelings.
Having compassion one of another - “Sympathizing,” entering into one another’s
feelings, and evincing a regard for each other’s welfare. See Romans 12:15 .
Compare 1 Corinthians12:26; John 11:35. The Greek word used here does occur not
elsewhere in the New Testament. It describes that state of mind which exists
when we enter into the feelings of others as if they were our own, as the
different parts of the body are affected by that which affects one. See 1
Corinthians 12:26.
Love as brethren - Margin, “loving to the;” that is, the brethren. The Greek
word does not elsewhere occur in the New Testament. It means loving one’s
brethren; that is, loving each other as Christian brethren - Robinson, Lexicon.
Thus, it enforces the duty so often enjoined in the New Testament, that of love
to Christians as brethren of the same family. See Romans 12:10. Compare Hebrews
13:1; John 13:34.
Be pitiful - The word used here occurs nowhere else in the New Testament, except
in Ephesians 4:32, where it is rendered “tender-hearted.”
Be courteous - This word also occurs nowhere else in the New Testament. It means
“friendly-minded, kind, courteous.” Later editions of the New Testament, instead
of this, read of a lowly or humble mind. The sense is not materially varied. In
the one word, the idea of “friendliness” is the one that prevails; in the other,
that of “humility.” Christianity requires both of these virtues, and either word
enforces an important injunction.
For the phrase, “be pitiful” it makes reference to Ephesians 4. Let us look at
that verse as it is an admonition for us here.
Ephesians 4:31-32
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be
put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as
God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Let us follow the scripture right into the next chapter.
Ephesians 5:1-2
1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us
an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
If we are following the example of Christ and being a living sacrifice in our
service to others, rudeness doesn’t have an opportunity.
Philippians 4:8-9
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are
lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if
there be any praise, think on these things.
9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in
me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
Christ is ever our example. He was never rude. He never practiced effrontery.
Colossians 3:12-17
12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies,
kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel
against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called
in one body; and be ye thankful.
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and
admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with
grace in your hearts to the Lord.
17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
No firstfruit reading those verses can squeeze in rudeness anywhere within those
statements.
Let me leave you with some quotes about rudeness and overcoming it:
“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”
“Why give in to rudeness, when you can fight back with kindness.”
It was Bob Hope who said, “If you haven’t any love in your heart, you have the
worst kind of heart trouble.”
“Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because
they are nice, but because you are.”
“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”
“The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped
you.”
Do these things and we will all eradicate the rudeness.