Sermon:  Affinity...a serious sermon about kinship
by Chris Cumming
 

When you were called by God to the Salvation Process, you were introduced to something you had never experienced in your lifetime…. SPIRITUAL TRUTH.

We hold these truths as doctrines and personal elements of belief [PEBs].  The ICG holds 33 doctrines in common and each of us have hundreds of PEBs.  All are founded upon and based in the Word of God.  The Word of God is our doctrine.

We have two kinds of doctrine:

1) Godly Principles-------salvation, faith, repentance, etc.

This is the type of doctrine with which we are most familiar and which is the subject of most sermons and Bible studies.

The second kind of doctrine is…

2) Relationship principles

Were you aware that a full 21% of our doctrines are about relationships?  Relationships with God, marriage, family, our fellow man and our relationships with our brethren in the Church of God.  This last one….relationships with the brethren will be our focus today as I encourage all of us to…

                              DEVELOP KINSHIP
 

Kinship:  Kinship is defined as…

1.            Connection by blood, marriage, or adoption; family relationship.

Connection by the blood of Christ.  Connection by the marriage of the Lamb to the Church.  Connection by the fact that God is adopting us into His Family.

Kinship is also define as …
 

2.            Relationship by nature or character.

We are all developing the same exact character of Christ.  One cannot get closer in Kinship than this.

So our topic today is our Kinship doctrine.  Here is how we are going to proceed:  First we are going to investigate the “Standard of Theology” as it relates to Kinship.  Theology is what we use to prove Truth.  Finally, we will deal with “Natural Attraction” or the concept of why we are attracted to some and not attracted to others and what God has to say about that.

Now before we can talk about our Standard of Theology, we need to talk about “pure and undefiled” religion.  Turn to James 1:27.  This from our ‘How To’ Instructions in Righteousness

James 1:27---this verse in our doctrine Fellowship with the Brethren
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Most skip right over the first part of this to focus on what comes after the comma, but notice what the commentaries say…

[Pure religion] The phrase "pure religion" means that which is genuine and sincere, or which is free from any improper mixture.

[And undefiled before God and the Father] That which God sees to be pure and undefiled.

Note: God wants our love, devotion, and reverence to Him to be pure and free from any improper mixture.

What is said after the comma is a whole sermon in itself, but I will quickly outline it for us as it gives impact to this idea of pure religion being free from any improper mixture.

The verse is not saying that pure religion boils down to visiting the fatherless and widow and keeping yourself unspotted from the world but that undefiled religion will lead to these things.
 

If one strives for pureness in their religion by fervency and full immersion into the Word of God, these fruits, exampled in the discourse as visiting the fatherless and widow will follow as a result.

The examples of visiting the fatherless and widow are not trivial examples.  God has described Himself as the father of the fatherless and judge [overseer/administrator/friend] of the widows.  By inviting us to this action, He is purely inviting us into His bosom and into His kinship.  He is inviting us to imitate Him.  This is high calling.  God has never done this before.  This is how He is building a Family. 

One commentary points out that false religions perform acts of mercy and charity but its motives and principles are defiled and that their hypocrisy spots them.  It goes on to say:
 

True religion does not merely give something for the relief of the distressed, but it visits them, it takes the oversight of them, it takes them under its care.  It goes to their houses, and speaks to their hearts; it relieves their wants, sympathizes with them in their distresses, instructs them in divine things, and recommends them to God. And all this it does for the Lord's sake. This is the religion of Christ. The religion that does not prove itself by works of charity and mercy is not of God.

If a person's religion is impure, it will be found out.  True religion is diligent and goes beyond the simple gesture of mercy.  It is founded on one's character and the invoking of the Holy Spirit.  It is selfless and is often done with only God watching.

The point is this: our religion cannot be defiled.  If it is, we will not be invited into the Family of God.  God is saying in James 1:27 that pure religion results in Kinship between us and Him.  For us to have Kinship between each other, our religion and therefore our Theology must be pure and undefiled.

Let us now discuss how our religion can become defiled and thus leave us with defiled beliefs and defiled relationships within the church.
 

Standard of Theology
For the last couple of years, I have been preaching about Good and Bad Theology.  Let me show you how this works and how it applies to Kinship.
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[See attached graphic]

If the information you have on your brother or sister is tainted, then your religion is defiled.

If your preconceived standards of what you like or dislike are tainted and they hinder kinship, then your religion is defiled.

Examples:

GTA:  The spoken, published and posted gossip on him is legion.  They are mostly wrong, inaccurate, embellished and given in a tone of hate.  Most are about real and alleged sin, which we must assume, are repented of and now gone.

Paul:  He was considered a liar based on his, now repented of, past.

Jesus: Had false reports [lies] about Him uttered in public at His trial.

A member of the church:  I have many reports that go like this:  A set of individuals in the church are approached by member A who sets about informing them about member B.  His discourse is a scathing attack full of lies and hate.  Member A all but consigns Member B to the lake of fire.  The set of individuals buys it all, hook, line and sinker.  The go on record with others in the church of their distaste of Member B.  In some cases, this gossiping Member A leaves the faith, yet the members continue to HATE Member B and will not fellowship with him.  Their religion is grossly defiled.

The Word of God shows us how to overcome all this defilement.  Let us begin with 1 John 3 and beginning in verse 7.

1 John 3:7-24  --I will just read through this and add comment as I go along…
 

7 Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous.

Note: First admonition, “let no man deceive you.”  If we are righteous and immersed in the Word of God, we will not be deceived.
 

8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.

Note:  He who spreads lies about his brother or even his disliking of that brother is committing sin.  If we believe him [the one spreading lies] and also dislike this brother, our religion is defiled and we are sinning.
 

9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

Note: If we are allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us, we will not defile our religion.
 

10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.

Note: The brother that spreads discord regarding a brother is not of God.  Neither is he who believes the gossip and hates his brother.
 

11 For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

Note:  We must love ALL brothers in the faith.
 

12 Not as Cain, who was of that wicked one, and slew his brother. And wherefore slew he him? Because his own works were evil, and his brother's righteous.

Note:  Those who spread gossip about a brother are evil.
 

13 Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you.

14 We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.

Note: We know we have eternal life in us if we love ALL firstfruit brethren. 
 

15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

Note:  If we hate our brother, we have no eternal life abiding in us.  How ironic if the reason for the hate is defiled reasoning.
 

16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

Note: All brethren in the faith.
 

17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

Note:  We must have compassion for all our brothers and sisters in the faith.
 

18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Note:  Key word here is “truth”.    We must not accept gossip and hearsay as truth.
 

19 And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.

Note: One is of the truth if his religion and theology is not defiled.
 

20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.

21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.

22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

23 And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.

Note: Let me read verses 20-23 in the Living Bible to make it more clear:

1 John 3:20-23

20 But if we have bad consciences and feel that we have done wrong, the Lord will surely feel it even more, for he knows everything we do.

21 But, dearly loved friends, if our consciences are clear, we can come to the Lord with perfect assurance and trust,

22 and get whatever we ask for because we are obeying him and doing the things that please him.

23 And this is what God says we must do: Believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another.

Note: If we have a bad conscience for present and defiled religion, God will surely see more for He knows all our sins, including the ones we cannot see.  However, if our consciences are clear we can come to the Lord with perfect assurance and trust and He will answer our prayers.  God’s command in verse 23 is that we love one another.  Now verse 24…

24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.

Note: If Christ is dwelling in us fully, our religion will not be defiled.  We know that Christ is in us by the Holy Spirit that is in us.

This passage should have us all in fear and trembling.  There is no wiggle room here.  We MUST love the brethren and we cannot have ought against a brother based on bad theology …bad information and reasoning. 

We cannot prefer one over another.  If we do, our religion is defiled and we will not be allowed in the Kingdom of God.

Let us read some key statements from our doctrine, “Fellowship of the Brethren”
 

So what we have covered so far is our Standard of Theology and how bad theology….bad information and reasoning concerning others can hinder relationships and defile our religion before God.  Now we want to talk about what I call “Natural Attraction” or the reasons why we are attracted to some people and not others.

Ever hear someone say, “That guy is just not my cup of tea” or words to that effect?  Seems natural and justified, but is it?  Have you ever asked yourself WHY you are attracted to some kinds of people and not others?  What standards are you using?  How many of these standards are inbred from childhood or television or some social moralities we picked up somewhere?  Are any acceptable to God?

When I began putting this sermon together I said to myself that any human has the right to be attracted to or not attracted to anyone he or she wants.  However, is that really true?  Does it apply to the Body of Christ?  Do we have this right of “rejection” when it comes to the brethren?  Do we have the right to point to a brother in the faith and declare that we just are not attracted to him and therefore preclude ourselves from fellowship with him?

Well I am here to tell you that we do not.  In fact, God gives us a single verse that is aimed at how to develop kinship with brethren we are not initially attracted to or for which we have bad information.

This single verse contains 4 separate but connected processes and a command about our treatment of our brother as these processes mature in us.  Turn to 1 Peter 3:8.

1 Peter 3:8 this verse in our doctrine Fellowship with the Brethren

Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

Let us take each process and the command as I read from the commentaries.
 

Be of one mind

[Be ye all of one mind] The word used here does not elsewhere occur in the New Testament. It means, of the same mind; like-minded; and the object is to secure harmony in their views and feelings.–Barnes

[Be ye all of one mind] Unity, both in the family and in the church, being essentially necessary to peace and salvation.  –Clarke

[Be ye all of one mind] This recalls the "one accord" of Pentecost, or Paul's injunctions to the Philippians to be "in one spirit" (Phil 1:27) and "like-minded, having the same love, being of one mind, of one spirit" (Phil 2:2), followed closely by his gripping outline of the mind of Christ. Peter's catalog of accompanying graces reads like the gracious self-effacing aspects of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23) or of the "wisdom that is from above" (James 3:17).  –Wycliffe

[Be all of one mind] to be unanimous in the belief of the same faith, and the practice of the same duties of religion.  Christians should endeavour to be all of one mind in the great points of faith, in real affection, and in Christian practice; they should be like-minded one to another, according to Christ Jesus (Rom 15:5), not according to man's pleasure, but God's word. –Matthew Henry

This last commentary, I feel, says it the best when it says, "in the great points of faith".  We are a church and by definition are in agreement on common doctrine, i.e. the thirty-three main doctrines of this church.  We agree on the plan of God and the Salvation Process in principle.  At the same time, we recognize that each of us have personal elements of belief [PEB].  We have differing backgrounds and personalities.  This recognition can give rise to understanding and respect for these PEBs and this can lead to, as the commentary [and God's Word] says, real affection for each other.  We see this in the very next phrase of the verse.
 

Invoke compassion

[Having compassion one of another] "Sympathizing," entering into one another's feelings, and evincing a regard for each other's welfare.  The Greek word used here does occur not elsewhere in the New Testament. It describes that state of mind which exists when we enter into the feelings of others as if they were our own, as the different parts of the body are affected by that which affects one. –Barnes

[Having compassion] Sumpatheis (NT:4835). Being sympathetic; feeling for each other; bearing each other's burdens.  –Clarke

We are to have compassion for our brethren in the faith who are experiencing trials and sorrows.  We are to enter into one another's feelings to understand their personal elements of belief, even when our PEBs are different or even conflicting with theirs.  It is through this Godly principle of compassion [a fruit of the Holy Spirit] that we are able to recognize and understand the PEB of the other person.

How can we POSSIBLY enter into one another’s feelings unless we have kinship?  How can we have kinship if we are avoiding the person because we believe the LIES we were told about him?

I want to share an experience I had, in which I was forced to enter into the feelings of someone I was not initially attracted to.  How many here have ever heard of or attended a personal awareness weekend?  Way back in about 1977, I did.  A personal awareness weekend is where you are cloistered away with about 15-20 strangers and undergo a series of exercises that result in you finding out more about you.  We never knew what exercise would come next or for what purpose.  What we became aware of was a surprise and often a shock.  In one exercise, they had us mill around the room.  Then the host announced, “At the count of three, walk up to and stand in from of the person you are the most attracted to.  I did.  It was a single lady.  I then had to utter out loud to her what it was that attracted me to her.  Ah, but wasn’t that fun.

The host had us begin to mill around the room again.  He then announced, At the count of three, go up to and stand in front of the person you are least attracted to.  I ran up to this one individual so fast that I almost shocked him into falling down.  I then had to discuss out loud to him what it was I found distasteful.  He then was given the opportunity to respond.  What I came to find out is that all the standards I was carrying under the heading of “why I am not attracted to someone” were mostly false.  They were unfounded.  So were the standards I used for who I was most attracted to. 

Because of the mutual disclosure I had with this man I was least attracted to…the putting of myself into his feelings, he and I actually became friends.

Using different methods, of course, we need mutual disclosure in our relationships in the church.  Kinship MUST be established.  Want one way to make that happen?

James 5:16 –holding your place at 1 Peter 3:8

16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.

[Confess your faults one to another] This is a good general direction to Christians who endeavour to maintain among themselves the communion of saints. This social confession tends much to humble the soul, and to make it watchful. We naturally wish that our friends in general, and our religious friends in particular, should think well of us; and when we confess to them offences which, without this confession, they could never have known, we feel humbled, are kept from self-applause, and induced to watch unto prayer, that we may not increase our offences before God, or be obliged anymore to undergo the painful humiliation of acknowledging our weakness, fickleness, or infidelity to our religious brethren. ~Clark

Now back to the processes discussed in 1 Peter 3:8.  We have covered “Be of one mind” and “Have compassion” and the next one is “Love the brethren.”
 

Love the brethren

[Love as brethren] Margin, "loving to the;" that is, the brethren. The word does not elsewhere occur in the New Testament. It means loving one's brethren; that is, loving each other as Christian brethren-Robinson, Lexicon. Thus, it enforces the duty so often enjoined in the New Testament, that of love to Christians as brethren of the same family. –Barnes

Though Christians cannot be exactly of the same mind, yet they should have compassion one for another, and love as brethren; they ought not to persecute or hate one another, but love one another with more than common affection; they should love as brethren. –Matthew Henry

Each succeeding phrase in this verse is the logical next step of growth in righteousness.  Each step is supported by the preceding step.  After compassion for our brothers and sisters in the faith, comes love.  The commentary just above is right on point, we cannot persecute or hate one another.  These emotions generally arise from personality differences and not acknowledging or understanding the other person's PEBs.  These negative emotions take us back to our study of James 1:27 ["pure religion and undefiled"].

If we allow this persecution and hate, our religion is tainted.  It is defiled.  We cannot truly love the brethren if these exist.  All Godly principles are pure and untainted as they sit in God's hand.  They cannot flow through a tainted firstfruit, one who's mind and heart are defiled.  Strive to overcome anything that would defile our minds and the pureness of Godly principles.
 

Be pitiful

[Be pitiful] The word used here occurs nowhere else in the New Testament, except in Eph 4:32, where it is rendered "tender-hearted."  –Barnes

[Pitiful] Tender-hearted; let your bowels yearn over the distressed and afflicted. –Clarke

Christianity requires pity to the distressed, and civility to all. He must be a flagrant sinner, or a vile apostate, who is not a proper object of civil courtesy, 1 Cor. 5:11. –Matthew Henry

The commentary is stating that if a firstfruit is openly sinning, without repentance and/or is apostate [knowingly preaching, advocating or practicing false doctrine] we do not have to be tender-hearted toward them.  Indeed, they need rebuke, correction and, if need be, to be disfellowshipped if they do not repent.  Otherwise, and despite their opposing PEBs or personality, we are to be tender-hearted toward them.  We need to love them and have compassion for the brethren.
 

Be courteous

[Be courteous] This word also occurs nowhere else in the New Testament. It means "friendly-minded, kind, courteous." In the one word, the idea of "friendliness" is the one that prevails; in the other, that of "humility." Christianity requires both of these virtues, and either word enforces an important injunction.  –Barnes

[Courteous] Be friendly-minded; acquire and cultivate a friendly disposition.  –Clarke

God knows that the first four phrases [be of one mind, have compassion, love the brethren and be tender-hearted] are processes over time.  Therefore, He includes a command to be courteous.  We are to be "friendly-minded and kind" as the processes mature in us.  To be courteous does not take a timely process to develop.  It is a choice and in this verse, it is a command of Almighty God.

To attain kinship we need at least two things:

1] A sound mind
 

Let my heart be sound in thy statutes; that I be not ashamed. - Ps 119:80

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Tim 1:7

2] Making our religion pure by getting rid of the defilement; the things that are defiling our religion.
 

Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious. -1 Peter 2:1-3

So…

Make your religion pure.
Rid yourself of defilement and bad theology
Stay immersed in the Word of God
Develop kinship.

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