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Little White Lies
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See Notebook Piece, "Lying in the Church"
Imagine yourself at church this coming Sabbath. Members are still
arriving and pre-service fellowship is in full swing. You look up
as a female member enters the room wearing an absolutely
horrible-looking dress. Though modest enough, the color and style
are all wrong for this lady. As she walks toward you in greeting
and not wanting to say anything that would hurt her feelings, you
compliment her on the dress. In other words, you told her what has
come to be known as a "little white lie." After all, you might
reason, no one was hurt and my heart was in the right place by not
wanting to make her feel bad. As laudable as this may seem on the
surface, is it practicing righteousness before God? Does the end
justify the means? Does God "wink" at the white lie knowing that
your heart and intent were in the right place?
I am here to tell you there is no such thing as a "little white lie."
The ends do not justify the means if the means to that end was sin.
I am here to tell you that good intentions of the heart do not justify
breaking the Ninth Commandment. The study of so-called "little
white lies" is a study in theology or how we use our educated human
reasoning, common sense coupled with the in-dwelling of God's Holy
Spirit to arrive at truth. We, as firstfruits, are being judged on
what we hold as truth and the theology we invoke to arrive at that
truth. All truth is Jesus Christ and we are in the Salvation
Process to become like Christ.
I will now present you with several instances of theology that will
utterly destroy the concept of the "little white lie" as being something
acceptable to Almighty God.
| The
Degree of Sin Argument - bad
theology |
God does not speak of sin in terms of degrees. Lies are lies.
Stealing is stealing. Adultery is adultery and murder is murder.
One cannot have a harmless affair with another man's wife. If I
leave my neighbor's car alone and just steal his TV, I am still guilty
of stealing. Is there such thing as a "little murder"?
Nowhere in God's Word do I find the terms "little lie" "minor lie",
"little white lie" or "justifiable lie."
Ye shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another.
–Leviticus 19:11. The phrase "deal falsely" means to deceive,
deny, dissemble, fail, deal falsely, be found liars, (be-) lie, lying,
submit selves. Telling the lady that the dress looks nice is
dealing falsely with her. We are deceiving her into believing a
lie--that the dress looks good on her. What if later, her best
friend tells her that the dress is hideous and all wrong for her.
You will "be found a liar" in her mind.
Telling her the dress looks good on her is not seeking her prosperity
and success. If she bases her next dress purchase on your lie, you
are now stealing from her by having her waste money on a lie. What
if she decided to go on a date with a suitor or wear that dress to an
important job interview? Your lie will have done the woman an
injustice, harmed her prosperity and even her potential happiness.
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour:
for we are members one of another. –Ephesians 4:25 We are to
put away all lying. We are to speak the truth with our neighbor
for we are members one of another. If you try on an item of
clothing, look in a mirror and know at once that it is all wrong for
you, would you wear it? Would you lie to yourself?
Clearly you would not. So why lie to her?
Notice that God provides no loopholes in His Word. He states it
simply and with all authority...speak the truth and lie not.
| The "God
looks on the intent of your heart" Argument
[or the end justifies the means]
-
bad theology |
One of the chief arguments or justifications for the little white lie is
that God looks on the good intentions of your heart rather than your
actions. "It is a little white lie," they say, "but you are being
kind-hearted in not wanting to cause a disruption or hurt her feelings
by telling her the dress is all wrong." The one encouraging the
lie is saying that the end justifies the means. "The lie is
permissible because God is looking on your heart and will bless you for
not wanting to hurt the lady's feelings." In other words, your
kindness and love justify the lie on your lips.
Is this good theology? If it is, the reasoning should hold for all
situations and with all known sins. Let us see if it holds.
|
Situation |
Action |
Intent |
Sin |
| There is a
poor and malnourished family, with young children in the
neighborhood. |
Lacking the
means myself, I take some food from a local grocers loading
dock. |
I am
preventing a family from starving to death. I am
preserving their health and lives. |
Stealing |
| A wife in the
congregation is experiencing a failing marriage due to the
fact she is frigid. |
I enter into a
sexual relationship with the lady to help her overcome being
frigid and to have a healthy view of sex in marriage. |
I am saving
the marriage, bringing happiness to the couple. |
Adultery and
fornication |
| There is a
known pedophile living in the neighborhood and the justice
system lacks the evidence to bring him to trial. |
I put hemlock
in the man's afternoon tea. |
I am saving
countless children from rape and sodomy. |
Murder |
Do the ends justify the means in these cases? Is there anything
wrong with the good intentions listed here? Have I not done the
good works that the Bible speaks about? Clearly not. In each
case I am sinning and showing a complete lack of understanding of the
Word of God.
One more aspect of this element to consider is this idea of God looking
on the heart and the good intentions of it. My Bible says that the
heart is deceitful above all things:
The heart is deceitful above all things, and
desperately wicked: who can know it? –Jeremiah 17:9
For from within, out of the heart of men,
proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts,
covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye,
blasphemy, pride, foolishness. –Mark 7:21-22
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts,
murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.
–Matthew 15:19
He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool:
but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered. –Proverbs 28:26
Finally...
I have not written unto you because ye know not the truth, but because
ye know it, and that no lie is of the truth. –1 John 2:21.
God's word is clear. NO LIE is of the truth. Regardless of our
intent, no matter how laudable, we cannot lie. To tell the lady
that the dress is pretty is a bald-face lie.
Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put
off the old man with his deeds. –Colossians 3:9.
| The
"allowable lies" of the Bible Argument
-
bad theology |
Some, in attempting to use the "good intentions" argument refer to
the Bible and the lies of Abraham and Rahab. Abraham lied to
Abimelech in saying that his wife, Sarah, was his sister. His
motive was to keep from getting killed. Some might think this
justified, but as you read the account in Genesis 20, God had to
intervene to keep Sarah from becoming Abimelech's wife. It is
Abimelech who is incensed with Abraham for his lie.
"What hast thou done
unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and
on my kingdom a great sin?" (Genesis 20:9).
Then we have the case of Rahab of Jericho who hides the spies of Israel
and lies to the authorities as to where they are. I have witnessed
a number of people who reference this account and say that lying for the
good of God and/or His people is justified. However, nowhere in
God's Word will you see her praised for the lie. Nowhere
will you find her lie justified. She is praised in Hebrews 11 and
James 2 for her faith and sending the spies out the other way.
Nothing about the lie. Most every commentary and Internet site I
consulted on the subject admitted that hers was an unjustified lie.
This can, in no way, be used to justify a little white lie. Notice
some commentaries [emphasis mine]...
The falsehood to which she had recourse may be excused by the pressure
of circumstances and by her own antecedents,
but cannot be defended. ~from Barnes' Notes
Rahab's expedient lie was a sin of weakness in one whose conscience was
just beginning to be awakened out of heathen darkness.
A man of developed faith learns to answer without
lying. ~from The Wycliffe
Bible Commentary
The falsehood by which Rahab sought not only to avert all suspicion from
herself of any conspiracy with the Israelitish men who had entered her
house, but to prevent any further search for them in her house, and to
frustrate the attempt to arrest them, is not to
be justified as a lie of necessity told for a good purpose. ~from
Keil & Delitzsch Commentary on the Old Testament: New Updated Edition
The type of lie we are discussing and which some are attempting to justify is
the mendacium officiosum, or
"officious lie," whose purpose is to achieve some useful end or to
prevent some distinct harm. Examples might include a doctor misleading a
terminally ill patient or a prisoner lying to enemy interrogators.
We see this being applied to the lie of Rahab above. I could find
no web site discussing the subject giving it justification.
Religious scholars have wrestled with the lie of Rahab for centuries and
virtually all come to the same conclusion: A lie is a lie is a lie and
God is against all lying regardless of intent, motive or circumstance.
Following is what I found at one Internet site discussing Lying and the
Bible:
"Answer: Lying is all too common (Psalm 58: 3).
Lying is usually defined as a falsehood that is designed to deceive.
According to one study, 91 percent confess to regularly lying. This same
study revealed that 45 percent see nothing wrong with lying. Lying
started with the devil and often involves some truth (Genesis.
3: 4, cp. 2: 17,
3: 3).
"Lying is associated with all manner of sin. God has placed lying into
the same circumstance as adultery, murder, sorcery, and idolatry (Jeremiah
23: 14, Revelation. 21: 8). The Bible knows nothing of big and little or
white lies. Those who set out to teach religious error are presented as
liars (Jeremiah.
14: 14).
"The Bible contains examples of lying. Potiphar's wife lied regarding
Joseph, Jacob's sons lied, Abram used deceit, and Rahab lied (Genesis.
39: 14-18; 37: 31-36;
12: 10-13;
Joshua. 2: 4-6). There are always terrible consequences associated
with lying. For instance, Joseph was cast into prison. In view of
James 2: 25, some
have tried to justify Rahab's lie. Hence, the doctrine of mental
reservation and the expression mendacium officiosum (justified lie in
course of duty). However, the Bible offers no justification for such
lies.
"God hates lying. The scriptures are plain in pronouncing God's hatred
of lying (Proverbs 6: 16-19,
12: 22). God's people are to remove themselves
from circumstances of lying (Psalm
119: 163, 29,
120: 2,
Proverbs 30: 8,
Ephesians 4: 25).
The rare word "abomination" is applied to lying (Proverbs
12: 22).
"It should be of great comfort that God's truths contain no lie (1
John 2: 21). People mainly lie out of fear and the desire for
acceptance, we are told. These matters should not be predominant in the
Christian (cp. John 12: 42-43). The fate of the liar is ultimate spiritual
destruction and everlasting punishment in hell (Proverbs
19: 5, 9, Revelation 21: 27,
22: 15,
21: 8)."
| The
"Where do you cross the line" Argument
-
bad theology |
If I were having a discussion with one who believed little white lies
and thought them justified, I would ask a very important question: "When
does the little white lie cross the line into becoming a full-fledged
lie?" I would ask for some examples of little white lies and then
ask for the worst little white lie that would be right at the line
separating little white lies from full-fledged lies. Next I would
ask, "Who is deciding that line?" Clearly it is not God. I
do not see any scripture or biblical principle that would establish such
a line. It would have to be the subjective choice of the one
telling the lie.
The bad theology here is the concept of drawing a line ANYWHERE when it
comes to sin. God does not draw lines within the sin.
The lines He draws are prior to the first possible example of the sin.
This is why there are no little white lies. Sin is sin. The
line God draws is between Truth and Lie or between Sin and No Sin.
We have no authority to take that line into the sin and call everything
on one side to be justified or okay to invoke.
That line, by the way, is the commandment that says, "Thou shalt not
lie." [Thou shalt not bear false witness
against thy neighbour.-Exodus 20:16].
| The
"abstain from all appearance of evil" Argument
-
good theology |
In my Notebook piece, "Abstain from all
Appearance of Evil...a full immersion into its meaning", we see that
we are to abstain from all forms of evil. Metaphorically, if we
are walking down a pathway and we see sin off to our right at about
one-thousand yards, we are not to take even one step in that direction.
We are to hold back from approaching it. We are to practice no
form of the evil. Lying is an evil. It is a known evil
prohibited by the Law of God. If there were such a thing as
"little white lies" they would clearly be a form of evil. This is
why the key word in the phrase is LIE.
If you justify and allow these little lies in your life, who is defining
what a little white lie is? When and by what action does the
little white lie become a full-fledged evil lie? Notice how this
is described in Isaiah:
Woe unto them that draw iniquity with cords of
vanity, and sin as it were with a cart rope. –Isaiah 5:18.
Now notice the meaning...
The Chaldee translates it, 'Woe to those who begin to sin by little and
little, drawing sin by cords of vanity; these sins grow and increase
until they are strong, and are like a cart-rope.' The Septuagint renders
it, 'Woe to those who draw sin with a long cable;' that is," one sin is
added to another, until it comes to an enormous length, and the whole is
drawn along together. Probably the true idea is that of the ancient
interpretation of the rabbis, 'An evil inclination is at first like a
fine hair string, but the finishing like a cart-rope.' At first, they
draw sin with a slender cord, then they go on to greater deeds of
iniquity that urge them on, and draw them with their main strength, as
with a cart-rope. They make a strong "effort" to commit iniquity.
~from Barnes' Notes
Sin is insidious. It is beguiling but harmful. It is the
spreading of evil in a subtle and stealthy manner. All sin grows
and therefore there is no such thing as a little sin. If I am
justified in lying to the woman about her ugly dress, then I am
justified to go through the congregation week after week and year after
year telling hundreds and thousands of them.
Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a
little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? Purge out therefore the old
leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ
our passover is sacrificed for us. –1 Corinthians 5:6-7
A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.
–Galatians5:9
How can one purge out the leaven and still tell "little lies"?
| The
"good and evil trees" Argument
-
good theology |
In Matthew 7:15-20 we receive instruction on how to tell a good minister
from an evil one. We learn of good fruit vs. evil fruit. We
come to understand that the meaning of the word, "fruit" is "close
adherence to scripture." We have
this study posted right here at the
Vegas site. Notice the definition of good
and evil trees in the text:
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit,
neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. –Matthew 7:18
This verse has linkage to the "little leaven leaveneth the whole lump"
verses in 1 Corinthians 5 and Galatians 5 above. A good tree
cannot have a "little bit" of sin.
| The
"pure religion" Argument
-
good theology |
In my recent sermon, entitled, "Affinity"
I discuss and
diagram what pure and defiled religions are. The first scripture I
reference is James 1:27.
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the
Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction,
and to keep himself unspotted from the world. – James 1:27
In the sermon, I define "pure religion"...
"Most skip right over the first part of this to focus on what comes
after the comma, but notice what the commentaries say…
[Pure religion] The phrase 'pure religion'
means that which is genuine and sincere, or which is free from any
improper mixture."
Pure religion is one devoid of improper mixture or impure elements.
Sin is impure in ANY form. Take a good intention and mix it with a
lie, even a so-called little white lie and you have an improper mixture.
Your religion is defiled. Anyone with defiled religion will not be
invited into the Kingdom of God. God's Word gives specific
instruction on how to have pure religion.
| The
"Christ" Argument -
good theology |
Everything about the Salvation Process is developing the mind and
character of Christ. We are to function like Christ.
Therefore, in our relationship with brothers and sisters in the faith,
we are to treat them the way we would Christ, Himself. Further, we
are to do all things as if Christ is looking over our shoulder,
scrutinizing every word and every deed.
And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in
the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
–Colossians 3:17
So the question is, if you were at services and Christ walked into the
room in a hideous-looking robe [God forbid],
would you tell Him the "little white lie"? Would you tell Him that He
looked great in the robe?
| The
"I can read your mind" Argument -
good theology |
Taking the example of Christ a step further, we know that if Christ were
on Earth and attending with the congregations that, as God, He could
easily read your mind. He would see your reasoning, intent and the
formation of your words even before you uttered them. Therefore,
your little white lie about the robe would fail with Him. He would
know you were lying. Shouldn't we treat our brothers and sisters
the same way? That is, shouldn't we speak the truth as if the
other person could see the reasoning, intent and motive for what we
utter to them?
One who speaks the truth to the brethren would not have to be concerned
with the fact that everyone in the congregation could read His mind.
One thing is clear: Christ is constantly monitoring the reasoning,
intent and motives of your mind.
And the King shall answer and say unto them,
Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least
of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. –Matt 25:40
| So what
DO I say to the lady in the ugly-looking dress? |
Long before I was introduced to the Bible, I learned an adage at the
knee of my mother, "If you can't say anything
nice, don't say anything at all." Good words for the
firstfruit to live by. However, this is just the beginning.
I will use the example of the lady in the ugly-looking dress to make my
point.
The mission and Christian duty is at least two-fold. The first is
immediate and the second more long-term. If it is your nature to
greet the brethren with a compliment, then pick
something you can be sincere about. Rather than offering a lie
about the dress, look elsewhere for placement of the compliment.
Some potential targets would be her hair, purse, shoes or her general
radiance. If you do not readily see something to compliment,
simply express gladness and joy in seeing her. Ask her about
her week. Make queries as to her health, the home front or her job.
Say anything, but let it be truth.
The more long term element to be addressed is the ugly-looking dress.
Our mission orders come from 1 Corinthians 10...
Let no man seek his own, but every man
another's wealth. –1 Corinthians 10:24
The word "wealth" here---and I am taking this from a commentary---
is "welfare" and is referring to anything and everything that pertains
to his or her comfort, usefulness, happiness, or salvation-The sentiment
of the whole is, "when a man is bound and directed by no positive law,
his grand rule should be the comfort and salvation of others." This is a
simple rule; it might be easily applied; and this would be a sort of
balance wheel in the various actions and plans of the world. If every
man would adopt this rule, he could not be in much danger of going
wrong; he would be certain that he would not live in vain. ~from
Barnes' Notes
Therefore, rather than lying and telling her the dress is fine, which
would ultimately be vain, we seek to improve her situation.
Examples would be:
| 1] taking her aside and giving her encouragement in
dressing better. |
| 2] seeking out her close friend or a family member and
having them give the encouragement. |
| 3] buying the lady a new dress via a friend or family
member. Especially if the lady lacks the means to buy
a dress. |
| 4] conducting a workshop on "Dressing for Success." |
| 5] getting the lady information on dress--books and DVDs
on the subject. |
These could be done singularly or in combination. If the
congregation is taught in the ways of seeking the other member's
welfare, it would be conditioned to frank and sincere communication.
The white lie is not sincere communication. It is a lie.
These are the things that ye shall do; Speak ye
every man the truth to his neighbour; execute the judgment of truth and
peace in your gates. –Zechariah 8:16
The final destination for liars is made clear in the Word of God:
For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for
menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other
thing that is contrary to sound doctrine. –1 Timothy 1:10
For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers,
and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie. –Revelation 22:15
But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and
whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have
their part in the lake
which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
–Revelation 21:8
I do not see a caveat here giving a free pass to lies that are coupled with good
intent. God hates lies so much that He lists them with sorcerers,
murderers and idolaters. They all receive the second death.
I personally do not wish to be anywhere near a sin that receives the
second death.
Let it not be published in any paper that God's church is allowed to lie
in any form. Notice this article we posted the week I wrote this:
Hamas: We’re Allowed to Lie
Israel National News
Hamas leaders spoke to the Arabic language Ash-Sharq il-Awsat newspaper
recently and explained that as Muslims, they are allowed to lie.
In an interview printed on Thursday, senior Hamas terrorists explained,
“A Muslim is permitted to say things that oppose his beliefs in order to
prevent damages or to be saved from death.”
This approach, known in Arabic as “taqiyya,” was behind several Hamas
leaders’ recent public expression of support for Palestinian Authority
Chairman
Mahmoud Abbas, they explained. Senior Hamas terrorists in Samaria, who
were recently released from jail, publicly expressed disapproval with
the Hamas
takeover of Gaza and said they supported the PA forces. The sources
quoted in Ash-Sharq il-Awsat explained that the Samarian terrorists’
announcement was
not a sign of dissent within Hamas ranks, but rather a permitted use of
“taqiyya” to deceive Abbas and avoid prison sentences.
Source
I hate and abhor lying: but thy law do
I love. –Psalm 119:163
A righteous man hateth lying: but a
wicked man is loathsome, and cometh to shame. –Proverbs 13:5
Science now supports the contents of this piece: It has now been
proven that even little white lies can greatly affect the brain and make
one more susceptible to telling even greater lies.
See the study here:
http://www.thetimenow.com/blog/lying-changes-brain/
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