| |
Chemistry and Physical Attraction between Firstfruit Men
and Women
printer-friendly
MP3
Among firstfruits, do we choose our mates or is God somehow involved?
Who created interpersonal chemistry? How does it work? Is physical
attraction something we determine or is this also something God is
deeply involved with? Is physical attraction the chief element in
finding a potential mate? Is physical attraction a list of positives
and negatives?
All my adult life I have listened to men and women talking about their
romantic and marital relationships. I have seen countless depictions of
these same types of relationships in movies. Almost without exception
there is dialog about personal chemistry and physical attraction. Some
say they would not consider a serious relationship with anyone unless
the chemistry was just right. Others put a lot of value in all the
elements of physical attraction.
The factor that seems to be left out in all these discussions is the
will of and intervention of Almighty God. This is especially true if we
are discussing firstfruits in the Body of Christ. This paper will show
that God is very much involved in the romantic and martial relationships
of the church. He is the being who created chemical and physical
attraction and it is He who designed it as part of the bonding process
as He brings the man and woman together. These are not elements we
“look for” but rather elements that are created uniquely between the two
He intends to be together.
Even science knows that as a couple enters into sexual embrace that both
the body of the man and the women give off chemicals that heighten the
experience. The couple is powerfully drawn to each other. These
chemicals and the means by which they are created is not something
perfected before the man and women first meet. They are perfected as
part of the bonding process between that unique man and woman.
Therefore if we attempt to look for this chemistry and physical
attraction in those first few meetings, we will not truly find them.
Indeed, to implement such a procedure is to say that you are using your
own devices and not putting full reliance in God and His perfect ways.
Let us look at scripture…
Matthew 19:4-6
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which
made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and
shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God
hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Let us look at the commentaries…
Verse 5
And said, For this cause — to follow out this divine
appointment. ~Jamieson, Fausset, Brown
Commentary
Note:
“divine appointment”
And shall cleave unto his wife - The word “cleave” denotes a
union of the firmest kind. It is in the original taken from gluing, and
means so firmly to adhere together that nothing can separate them.
~Barnes Notes
Note:
“union of the firmest kind” and “nothing can separate them”
shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and
they twain shall be one flesh?
— Jesus here sends them back to the original constitution of man as one
pair, a male and a female; to their marriage, as such, by divine
appointment; and to the purpose of God, expressed by the sacred
historian, that in all time one man and one woman should by marriage
become one flesh - so to continue as long as both are in the flesh. This
being God’s constitution, let not man break it up by
causeless divorces. ~Jamieson, Fausset,
Brown Commentary
Note:
“by divine appointment”, “to the purpose of God” and “This being God’s
constitution”
They twain shall be one flesh -
That is, they two, or they that
were two, shall be united as one - one in law, in feeling, in interest,
in affection. They shall no longer have separate interests, but shall
act in all things as if they were one - animated by one soul and one
wish. The argument of Jesus here is, that since they are so intimately
united as to be one, and since in the beginning God made but one woman
for one man, it follows that they cannot be separated but by the
authority of God. ~Barnes Notes
Note:
“no longer have separate interests, but shall act in all things as if
they were one”, “one soul and one wish”, and “cannot be separated but by
the authority of God”
And they twain shall be one flesh? - Not only meaning,
that they should be considered as one body, but also as two souls in one
body, with a complete union of interests, and an indissoluble
partnership of life and fortune, comfort and support, desires and
inclinations, joys and sorrows. ~Adam
Clarke Commentary
Note:
“a complete union of interests, and an indissoluble partnership of life
and fortune, comfort and support, desires and inclinations, joys and
sorrows.”
Verse 6
What –[as in “what
therefore God hath joined together]
Not those. Christ is contemplating, not the individuals,
but the unity which God cemented; and so Wyc., that thing that
God enjoined; i.e., knit together. The aorist tense (denoting
the occurrence of an event at some past time, considered as a momentary
act) seems to refer to the original ordinance of God at the
creation. ~Vincent’s Word Studies
Note:
“unity which God cemented”, “that thing that God enjoined” and “original
ordinance of God”
What therefore God hath joined together (ho
oun ho theos sunezeuxen).
Note “what,” not “whom.” The marriage relation God has made. “The
creation of sex, and the high doctrine as to the cohesion it produces
between man and woman, laid down in Genesis, interdict [prohibit]separation”
(Bruce). The word for “joined
together” means “yoked together,” a common verb for marriage in ancient
Greek. ~Robertson’s Word Pictures
Note:
“marriage relation God has made”, “the creation of sex” and “laid down
in Genesis”
what therefore God hath joined together; or, by the first
institution of marriage, has declared to be so closely united together,
as to be, as it were, one flesh, and one body, as husband and wife are.
~John Gill Commentary
Note:
“God hath joined together” and “[God] has declared to be so closely
united together”
And shall cleave unto his wife -
The word “cleave” denotes a union of the firmest kind. It is in the
original taken from gluing, and means so firmly to adhere together that
nothing can separate them. ~Barnes Notes
Note:
“a union of the firmest kind” and “nothing can separate them”
let no man put asunder; break the bond of union, dissolve the
relation, and separate them from each other, for every trivial thing,
upon any slight occasion, or for anything; but what is hereafter
mentioned. The sense is, that the bond of marriage being made by God
himself, is so sacred and inviolable, as that it ought not to be
dissolved by any man; not by the husband himself, or any other for him;
nor by any state or government, by any prince or potentate, by any
legislator whatever; no, not by Moses himself, who is, at least,
included, if not chiefly designed here, though not named, to avoid
offence: and God and man being opposed in this passage, shows, that
marriage is an institution and appointment of God, and therefore not to
be changed and altered by man at his pleasure; this not merely a civil,
but a sacred affair, in which God is concerned.
~John Gill Commentary
Note:
“let no man put asunder”, “being made by God himself, is so sacred and
inviolable”, “marriage is an institution and appointment of God” and “a
sacred affair, in which God is concerned.
Nothing in the meaning of these verses
allows man to intercede with his devices and preconceived notions and
lists of physical criteria or demand for a specific kind of chemistry.
Notice the strong admonition from God that nothing man can do should
damage or destroy what God is bringing together BEFORE or during the
formation of His assigned union. It is clear that the chemistry is
created during His creation of the union and not something we can find
before.
Man’s thinking vs. God’s authority
and will
Man’s mind is not unlike a computer. A computer is only as good as the
information placed on its hard drives. The adage in the computer
industry is, “Garbage in, garbage out.” Collectively society is
operating with thousands of vain concepts. Among these are the false
concepts of looking for qualifying chemistry in a potential mate and
putting so much value on physical attraction. These man-made paradigms
actually work to put asunder the will and workings of God. Notice some
scriptures that demonstrate the vanity of man’s thinking versus that of
God’s and what the source of correct and righteous paradigms is.
Proverbs 14:12
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof
are the ways of death.
Note:
the problem with man’s falsely-held beliefs is that they do not work.
They, in fact, disrupt the right concepts and workings God has decreed
and set in motion.
Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that
hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.
Note:
Man always thinks his ways are the right ones.
Proverbs 30:12
There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and
yet is not washed from their filthiness.
Note:
False beliefs are pure to mankind. They do not see the error of their
beliefs because they have not unlearned them by immersing themselves in
the Word of God.
Proverbs 26:12
Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a
fool than of him.
Note:
The man who is wise in his own conceit has no understanding in how God
operates.
Proverbs 3:7
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
Note: To fear the Lord, we
need to replace our false thinking with His truth.
Proverbs 28:11
The rich man is wise in his own conceit; but the poor that hath
understanding searcheth him out.
Note:
The firstfruit will diligently seek to ferret out unrighteous thinking
and replace it with God’s knowledge and wisdom.
Romans 6:21
What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for
the end of those things is death.
Note:
Firstfruits come to know and understand that our false beliefs do not
produce true results.
Galatians 6:3
For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he
deceiveth himself.
Note: Man’s false beliefs have left us deceived. They stifle success
and accomplishment. They are contrary to the will of God.
True chemistry is created by God in the chemical process of bonding,
which takes place through physical, mental and emotional contact. For
firstfruits, we add to this list spiritual bonding. In recent studies
science has found that physical bonding between a male and female begins
with simple touch, the holding of hands, hugging, kissing and just
holding each other. A unique chemical bond is created, information is
passed between the cells of both the male and female. The two literally
begin to become one flesh. With marriage this process is taken to its
ultimate height and fulfillment through sexual intercourse and
love-making.
Real physical attraction is created in all this. Man, through his false
beliefs and concepts, has reversed all the sub-elements of this
process. They look for initial and qualifying chemistry then make many
of their decisions based on initial and rather superfluous physical
attraction and then seek to create a bond by their own devices and
thinking. With firstfruits, God brings together the male and the female
by divine appointment [Godly calling]
and then creates the chemistry and physical attraction through His
preordained bonding processes.
There is nothing wrong with initial physical attraction. It is natural
and we experience it continually as we interact in society. The
problem is created when we use initial physical attraction as a
determining and conclusive factor in our attempting to find a potential
mate. Rather than forcing the issue and using our ways to find a
mate, we are to allow God to draw us to a mate and then allow His
bonding processes to take place.
Next time you go out into public for any length of time, say, going
shopping or sight-seeing, take notice of the numbers of members of the
opposite sex you are initially attracted to. If you are like most
humans, you will find your list growing after just an afternoon. The
results should tell you something about the foolishness of using initial
physical attraction as a meaningful and effective means of finding a
potential mate.
Now talk to a number of firstfruit couples who have been married twenty
years or more and discuss with them the physical attraction they have
for their mates now. Invariably they will speak to the overpowering and
profound attraction they have one for the other. This attraction was
created by God as He brought the male to the female and, at the same
time, the female to the
Ephesians 5:28-29
[speaking of
marriage]
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth
his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and
cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
[See Ephesians 5:31, 33; Genesis 2:21-24;
Matthew 19:5]
Can you see the vast distinction between initial physical attraction and
what is being said in this verse? Indeed, in the book of Ephesians,
Paul is using the living metaphor of marriage to describe the
relationship of Christ to the church [Ephesians 5:32]. At what time
does Christ become bonded to the church? When does God become bonded to
the individual church member? These happen after the calling to the
Salvation Process. These bindings of Christ to the church and God to
the firstfruit happen after the begetal by the Holy Spirit and a new
creature created. If a new creature is created via the bestowing of the
Holy Spirit, are we not also getting a new creature in the bonding of
two people together as one flesh?
God Does the Choosing for His
Servants
The Bible has a number of examples where God is deeply involved in
bringing the two people together. The first and possibly the most
obvious was God bringing together Adam and Eve. He could have created
Eve by any number of ways but He specifically and purposely chose to
literally create the one-flesh concept. He made Eve from the body of
Adam.
Turn in your Bibles to Genesis 24 and verse 1…
Genesis 24:1-4
1
And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed
Abraham in all things.
2
And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over
all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:
3
And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God
of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the
daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
4
But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife
unto my son Isaac.
Here we read of how Isaac got His wife from God. God clearly did not
want Abraham or Isaac selecting a wife from the Canaanites. He orders
that the wife be chosen from his country. See as we read on…
After his final instructions (Genesis 24:5-9), Abraham’s servant set off
on his journey to find a wife for Isaac.
So the servant took ten camels belonging to his master and to the city
of Nahor. There he waits by the well at the time the women came to draw
water (Genesis 24:10-11)
Now notice who chooses the wife for Isaac.
Genesis
24:12-14
12 And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me
good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.
13 Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the
men of the city come out to draw water:
14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let
down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say,
Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that
thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that
thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
The servant prays to God to choose the woman for Isaac. God answers his
prayer. Read on in verses 15 through 49 to see how the story unfolds.
It finishes with…
Genesis
24:48-52
48 And I bowed down my head, and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the
LORD God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way to take
my master's brother's daughter unto his son.
49 And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me:
and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.
50 Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from
the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.
51 Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy
master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken.
52 And it came to pass, that, when Abraham's servant heard their words,
he worshipped the LORD, bowing himself to the earth.
In verse 51 we see that the Lord, Himself, picked Rebekah for Isaac and
in verse 52 the servant prays to and worships God.
Two Relevant points
There are two additional points that have a bearing or connection to the
matter at hand.
1] The Godly Calling to this union is mutual.
The wonderful thing about Godly Calling is that God is in charge and
always brings about the desired results. Therefore, despite our longing
and desires for a mate, if it is God’s will that you have a mate then
there will be a “mutual calling.” That is, God calls the man to the
woman and,
at the same time,
He calls the woman to the man. It is a mutual calling. God is acting
as both Creator and Matchmaker and He is perfect in both areas. There
is no need to attempt to force the issue. One might find himself in a
situation where he thinks that this mutual calling is in motion when, in
fact and reality, it is not. One may have a strong belief and abundant
faith that what they are experiencing is a calling to a potential mate.
As we learned in the Healing Doctrine, the presence of strong belief and
faith in a matter does not necessarily mean it is God’s will. The will
of God trumps strong belief and faith in a matter.
2] Character is a totally different subject
The whole purpose of this paper has been to expose the erroneous social
concepts of looking for some special and initial interpersonal chemistry
and the use of initial physical attraction as a determining and
conclusive device in choosing a potential mate. I have said nothing
about character. This is an entirely different subject. Generally
speaking, various aspects of both positive and negative character are
determining factors as to whether two could or should be together. We
gather this concept from more than one area of scripture but clearly we
have the Qualifications for both minister and deacon in the Bible.
These qualifications are a list of elements that would raise red flags
as to whether it would be a good decision to ordain this person at this
time. Such negative character elements could act as deal-breakers in
any proposal of marriage. Examples might be mental health issues,
chemical addictions and/or conversion issues, which is to say,
“spiritual maturity.”
Problems with one’s character generally are not factors in God’s divine
appointment of bringing two firstfruits together to become one flesh.
God is not going to bring two people together in marriage where one or
both have deep-seated mental health or chemical addiction issues. The
expectation would be that God would heal the firstfruit of these things
prior to the specific calling to this union.
My encouragement to the entire congregation is to take action to insure
that God’s will, purpose and design are carried out without interference
by our faulty paradigms. In the case of our discussion here, do not
allow the concepts of initial chemistry and/or physical attraction to be
determining factors in your search for a mate. Get out of the way and
let God’s perfect work and will have its way.
|
|