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We are blessed in many ways to have direct access to
information via the Internet. I simply took this question and put it
into a search engine. I received a number of sites that speak to accepting
criticism with grace, appreciation and a positive attitude. Some of them
are listed
below with summaries.
First, we want to look at the situation and ascertain whether it is actually
criticism. Ask yourself the following questions:
1] Is this communication of criticism designed to improve my actions or behavior.
Its it what we would call positive or constructive criticism?
2] Is this communication actually an outburst of anger?
3] Is this communication actually an insult or personal attack?
In the case of items 2 and 3, you will have to invoke the equivalent of
a Matthew 18 process where you sit down with the critic [boss, friend,
parent] and voice your conclusion that the criticism was actually an
outburst of anger and/or a personal attack on your character.
Items 2 and 3 are not, by definition, offering anything of a positive
nature with which we can make improvements. The information below will
not apply to Items 2 and 3 above. That is, they will not deal with
outburst of anger or personal attacks.
How to Accept Criticism with Grace and Appreciation
Summary:
1] Postpone your first reaction. Do not lash back and do not become
defensive. If the communication is verbal, open a dialogue and ask
questions. If it is an e-mail or letter, sit on it for an hour or a day
and then respond.
2] Cool off. When the criticism comes, you are going to naturally have
an emotional response. Allow the emotions to flow. Then cool off from
the emotions.
3] Turn a negative into a positive. In every criticism there is a nugget
of gold. Especially true if the criticism was truly constructive.
4] See it as an opportunity to improve.
5] Thank the critic. Even if they were harsh and rude. Maybe the critic
is having a bad day. Thanking the critic and remaining positive can
usually catch the critic off guard and win them over.
6] Learn from the criticism. Try to improve.
7] Be the better person. Do not attack the attacker, as this would be
stooping to the critic's level.
8] Stay calm and positive. Respond to the "meat" or the "golden nugget"
of the criticism.
9] Rise above the criticism. You do this by removing yourself from the
criticism, and looking only at the actions criticized.
10] Taking the interjection as an opportunity to clarify. "Thanks for
giving me an opportunity to clarify that situation."
How to Take Constructive Criticism Like a Champ
Summary:
1] Stop Your First Reaction
2] Remember the Benefit of Getting Feedback
3] Listen for Understanding
4] Say Thank You
5] Ask Questions to Deconstruct the Feedback
6] Request Time to Follow Up
Hopefully, by this point in the conversation, you can agree on the
issues that were raised. Once you articulate what you will do going
forward, and thank the person again for the feedback, you can close the
conversation and move on.
That said, if it's a larger issue, or something presented by your boss,
you may want to ask for a follow-up meeting to ask more questions and
get agreement on next steps. And that's OK—it'll give you time to
process the feedback, seek advice from others, and think about
solutions.
Constructive criticism is often the only way we learn about our
weaknesses—without it we can't improve. When we're defensive, instead of
accepting and gracious, we run the risk of missing out on this important
insight. Remember, feedback is not easy to give and it's certainly not
easy to receive, but it will help us now and in the long run.
See Wikipedia on Criticism.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism
There are many resources on the Internet that speak to handling
criticism, constructive criticism, angry outbursts and insults/attack on
character.
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