Open Dialog
Subject: Forgiveness
I received a letter the other day asking, "How do we forgive?" The
individual went on to say that some person had done them wrong and they just
couldn't forgive and forget. Following was my reply:
When the subject of forgiveness
comes up, we tend to immediately think of ourselves forgiving the other person
[focus on the other person]. We think of the offense they did to us. We think
of our outrage, anger and the harm they caused. This is not the primary purpose
of forgiveness.
Let me give you an extreme example to make a point before we proceed. Say you
are living in Florida. Say your friend, Ralph does something against you
causing you harm and/or loss. Your outrage is not unlike that presently with
your sister. Right after the offense, you move to a mountain cabin 50 miles
outside Nome, Alaska. No phone, no e-mail, no mail service. Your outrage and
disgust continues for the next 24 months toward Ralph. Who is getting hurt?
Clearly not Ralph. He feels none of the outrage, emotion, or disgust. What is
the problem with all negative emotions? What is the problem with all forms of
hate? They grow and increase. They hurt and can destroy the vessel where they
reside.
Short of accosting the person or suing them, 95-100 percent of your negative
emotions are hurting you and can destroy you. The old adage about revenge is,
“When you set out on a mission of revenge, first dig two graves.” The revenge
may be obtained but the one carrying out the revenge gets destroyed too.
Forgiveness is all about release. You are releasing yourself from the
destructive emotions---outrage, hate, disgust, revenge and/or malice that would
destroy you long before it ever did anything to the target of your outrage.
In science there is an adage or law that says, “there is no such thing as a
naturally existing vacuum.” Notice:
THE LAW OF THE VACUUM
The Law of The Vacuum states that all material forces of the universe abhor the
vacuum and rush to fill it.
Romans 1:20 says that we can understand the unseen things by looking at what is
seen. That is, God puts into nature and into the world things that give clues
to Him and all things spiritual. The human heart [mind] must be filled. There
is another law of science that says that the human mind is always thinking.
There is no such thing as a void mind or a vacuum in a mind, assuming we are
talking about healthy humans. We are always thinking. Emotions are always
flowing. Positive and right thinking brings prosperity and success while
negative and wrong thinking brings poverty and failure. Your spiritual duty is
to bring in the positive and right and therefore force out the negative and
wrong.
In the case of forgiving the sources of negative and wrong come from two primary
sources:
1] the aforementioned negative emotions and thoughts.
2] the person who is continuing to offend.
You have spiritual admonition to avoid negative people as well as negative
emotions and thoughts.
Titus 3:10
A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject.
Romans 14:1
Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.
Romans 14:19
Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things
wherewith one may edify another.
Romans 16:17
Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences
contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.
2 Timothy 3:5
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
2 Thessalonians 3:6
Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye
withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after
the tradition which he received of us.
1 Corinthians 5:4-13
4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my
spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,
5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the
spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
6 Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the
whole lump?
7 Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are
unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:
8 Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven
of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
9 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:
10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous,
or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
11 But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is
called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a
drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge
them that are within?
13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among
yourselves that wicked person.
Galatians 5:12
I would they were even cut off which trouble you.
Virtually all of these verses are speaking to brothers in the faith but the
principle surely extends to any individual we encounter who continues to offend
us, argue with us, attack us or does anything contrary to peace and edifying.
Let us look at the dictionary definition of “forgive”:
1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to grant pardon to (a
person).
When we forgive we grant pardon to the offender but notice definition one: It
says “remission of an offense.” “Remission” means lessening of intensity or
abatement. Clearly we are not lessening the intensity of the offender. That
is, we are not affecting the offender’s life or character. We are lessening the
intensity of all negative elements in the situation including negative emotions,
negative thoughts and negative contact.
Once one releases all the negative elements and cultivates as many positive
Godly principles and elements as possible, the more we are going to see
prosperity [physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual] for both parties. If we
release all our outrage and disgust, there is nothing negative flowing from us
unto the offender. This results in more opportunities for the situation to be
resolved or at least for there to be peace in the land.
In addition, we begin to forget. In outrage and offense we play the same looped
video tape over and over and over. The adage is, “forgive and forget.” This
does not necessarily mean forgetting what the offender did but releasing all our
attachments to it. We destroy the looped video. Notice the Godly example
sitting right in front of us in the Word of God. Turn to 2 Samuel 11 where we
read, in black and white the sins of king David. We read of his adultery and
his murder of Uriah. Has God not forgiven David and forgotten? Clearly not.
What He has done is pardon him and set David’s offense far from Himself. It is
no longer considered. It is not part of God’s thought process. This gives
David the space and opportunity to repent; which he did. We are to do the same.
If harmony and/or reconciliation is possible, which of the following situations
does it have the best opportunity of manifesting itself?
1] Where one or both parties are continually playing the looped video tape of
their offense and outrage.
2] Where the offended party has released all the negative elements and given
pardon to the offender.
Forgiveness is a fruit of the Spirit and when we invoke it we reap its rewards
even more than the one being forgiven.
Some quotes on forgiveness:
“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”
“Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…forgiveness saves the expense of anger,
the cost of hatred and the waste of the Spirit.”
“Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and
retaliation.”
“Forgiveness is the final form of love.”
“Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom”
“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing
of the world.”
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
“Holding resentment is like eating poison and waiting for the other person to
keel over.”
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your
Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not
forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
-Mark 11:25-26
Chris
What Did We Learn in this Lesson?
1. Forgiveness is a fruit of the Spirit. It is us giving pardon to the
offender.
2. We are commanded by God to forgive everyone.
3. Forgiveness is mostly about the release from our minds of all the outrage,
hate, disgust and anger.
4. 95-100% of the outrage we feel is never known by the offender.
5. Two elements cause us harm: a] the negative emotions and thoughts in our
minds. b] the offender if and when he continues to offend.
6. We are to send all negative emotions into remission and we are to avoid or
separate ourselves from the brother who continues to offend.
7. We force out the negative elements in our hearts and minds by bringing in
positive spiritual elements. This is accomplished by full immersion into
the Word of God via prayer, meditation, Bible study and fasting.
8. We must destroy the looped tape that keeps playing in our minds which
prevents the Forgiveness.
9. Once our mind is free of the negative emotions and thoughts, we make possible
the opportunity to be reconciled to our brother.
10. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It is a gift from God for us.
See the following on Forgiveness posted at this site:
---Letter
Answering: Forgiveness ...how can I be and feel forgiven?
---Letter
Answering: Forgiveness and Repentance
---Letter
Answering: Forgiveness ...how does one forgive the self?
---Invoking
Godly Principles - Fruits of the Spirit: Forgiveness
---Booklet:
Forgiveness, Buried Sins and Spiritual Graves Robbers
---Sermon:
Blood on Trial
---Sermon:
Climb Far
---Minister's
Notebook: The Realities of Being a Christian in God's True Church
---Ministers
Notebook: Has the Minister Given Me a Club to Beat You With?
---The
Matthew 18 Process