SUBJECT: Family: Corporal Punishment - Spanking
QUESTION: What is the church’s teaching on corporal
punishment and spanking of children?
ANSWER:
Not so much in the church, but in the world the subject of
spanking and corporal punishment is volatile. It is right
up there with abortion and race issues. Ironically some are
militant about it. I encountered one lady who was quite
adamant [Impervious to pleas,
appeals, or reason; stubbornly unyielding] in her
position. According to her, every ill in man's history can
be traced back to spanking. All wars, all dictators, all
diseases, all famines, all oppression, all crime and all
greed. Her list was seemingly endless. I say all this as
introduction to show that we have massive debate going on
out there.
For the true firstfruit Christian, every situation and
family will be rather unique. That is, corporal punishment
[all forms], though
covered in principle in the Bible is not a major doctrine.
It is a non-salvation subject, in and of itself. That is,
you will not see in our doctrine any specifics to corporal
punishment that answer such questions as:
1] Do I spank?
2] If so, how? Should I use my hand, a paddle, a belt, a
switch, a coat hanger, a bamboo or iron rod? How many
swats? How hard? Through clothing or bare skin?
3] What other forms of discipline could or should be used?
4] How do we match the application of punishment to the
infraction?
However, you are going to see this issue discussed in
overriding principle in our doctrine on the Christian
Family.
http://www.intercontinentalcog.org/STP/stp27.htm. What you
will find in the doctrine are a number of elements and
issues brought together that will help the firstfruit to
deal with the questions above. We cannot speak about nor
consider corporal punishment without bringing all the issues
to the table. Notice this in an excerpt from the doctrine:
---begin quote----
Effective child rearing is also basic to the building of a
strong and healthy family unit. It is as important as
marriage in portraying the plan of God in that the
relationship between parent and child is the physical type
of the spiritual relationship between God and man.
As in other areas of the Christian life, God's Word allows
great latitude of approach in the rearing of one's children
within the general biblical guidelines. Of course, it is
self evident that a father and mother must clothe, feed and
shelter their youngsters as best they can within their
means. For a parent to ignore these basic responsibilities
is, in God's sight, to be "worse than an unbeliever" (1
Timothy 5:8). But the principles of proper child rearing
must be far more inclusive than the basic necessities of
life.
The Bible's primary admonition is that parents show deep
love and manifest real affection toward their progeny, just
as God does for us. This love will take many forms:
protection from harm, instruction, encouragement, respect,
participation in family activities, and balanced correction
when necessary. The need for parents to express their love
by spending much time with their children in both work and
play is especially stressed by the church. Likewise, great
emphasis is placed upon the need for parents and children to
communicate with one another, and to show genuine interest
in each other by active listening. To this end the church
encourages its members to set aside at least one day a week
for a "family night" of planned activities and recreation
together.
Parents have a responsibility to provide moral and spiritual
guidance for their children and to establish values
consistent with the goals of Christianity, through their
example as well as by formal religious instruction. The
establishment and nurturing of true values and moral
behavior will at times necessitate punishment for
wrong-doing in the form of removal of privileges or
spanking. All such punishment is done in love only
(never in uncontrolled anger), is always reasonable,
consistent and never injurious to the child emotionally or
physically.
The proper balance in discipline of one's children is
important to achieve. Two scriptures that can help define
the boundaries of such balance are Proverbs 13:24 and
Ephesians 6:4. In the former, parents are instructed that
"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him
is diligent to discipline him"; in the latter, parents are
cautioned never to "provoke your children to anger, but
bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the
Lord." Thus parents are entrusted by God to generate and
nurture physical, mental, moral, and spiritual growth in the
children that He grants to their care.
----end quote----
This is just five paragraphs of this doctrine. One could
contemplate it for a lifetime just to grasp all its
elements. That is what doctrine is supposed to do in that
it is an explanation of what we believe from the Word of God
[the mind of God],
which is limitless. Before we can address those questions I
enumerated above, we have to talk about family,
relationships, Godly purpose, Godly design, and the entire
list of Godly principles---love, joy, forgiveness,
compassion, longsuffering, patience, peace, temperance,
consistency and so many more we could mention. We cannot
truly talk of spanking and other disciplines unless we have
a long talk that includes all of these. Doing so will
formulate your own unique answers to those questions.
There has to be deep love and manifest affection. There
must be instruction, encouragement and respect. There has
to be a good relationship between husband and wife. The
family has to operate as a unit, each understanding their
responsibilities and each serving the other. As the
doctrine says, there must be balanced correction when
necessary. Whatever corporal punishment is used, it must be
done in love and never in anger. It has to be something
that aids both instruction and nurturing. It has to be
followed by real affection. It cannot be injurious to the
child.
Clearly if the parents are providing moral and spiritual
guidance from birth, the need for any kind of punishment is
lessened. If spanking is used, it should be appropriate to
age and the infraction involved. Experience has shown me
that the actual application of the punishment [that
moment when we apply the corporal punishment] should
be slow, calm and purposeful and then followed by the
appropriate show of love and affection, such as hugging.
The parent should fully explain what just happened and why
it was done. The actual spanking is a tool of direction and
not punishment as the world likes to use the term.
Each firstfruit is going to have to meditate on these
elements using prayer and Bible study and come to his and
her own conclusion. The parents need to be in full
agreement with these things. Whatever the parents conclude
will be a combination of both doctrine and personal elements
of belief. All personal elements of belief derive from the
firstfruit's theology and relationship with God. See my
study on this:
http://www.icgchurches.org/Portland_OR/Ministers_Notebook/Notebook_48.shtml
back to the top |