|
SUBJECT: Divorce and Remarriage
QUESTION: What does ICG believe regarding divorce and
remarriage?
ANSWER:
Because of the sanctity of marriage, the Church of God
strongly discourages divorce among its members. As a last
resort, there are only three scriptural reasons why
church members may divorce each other—with subsequent rights
of remarriage.
(1)
Fraud.
This amounts to an annulment, though divorce is usually
required to terminate the marriage. The marriage covenant
was made under a false pretense. One party later finds that
he or she has been defrauded and decides to take action.
(Deuteronomy 22:13-21) (The spirit
of this scripture may be applied to other acts of fraud
besides the pretext of virginity.)
(2)
Illicit
Sexual Activity:
In Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, Jesus Christ states that "whoever
divorces his wife, except for unchastity [porneial]
and marries another, commits adultery." The Greek word
porneia includes fornication, adultery, harlotry,
homosexuality, etc.; it is best translated "unchastity" as
in the RSV. When porneia has been committed, the
offending party and the marital bond may be broken
(Deuteronomy 24:4; Matthew 5:31-32; 19:9), though Christians
should surely be counseled to be forgiving towards
their mates.
(3) Desertion:
If one member of a marriage is or becomes an
“unbeliever," and deserts his or her mate—not being "pleased
to dwell" with her or him—the offended party is freed from
obligation. He or she may formalize the separation and any
subsequent divorce gives the right to remarry since "in such
a case the brother or sister is not bound" (1 Corinthians
7:15).
If no adequate scriptural grounds for divorce are present,
the church strongly recommends that the couple not divorce
though they may choose to live separately. (If
they do divorce, they should not remarry)
Reconciliation should be achieved at the soonest possible
time. If this is not possible, they should remain single.
If adequate biblical grounds for divorce are present, the
couple may divorce if they have first exhausted all other
attempts to resolve their differences.
While the church allows its members to divorce and remarry
under the above biblical conditions, it does not generally
recommend it. God says He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and
that should be the attitude of the church, its ministry, and
each of its members. The church insists that every possible
effort be made to reconcile offended parties.
Forgiveness is an intrinsic part of the Christian
character (Matthew 6:14-15) and must be given a prominent
role in resolving marital problems. The church lends its
counseling services to aid in achieving such
reconciliation’s.
Now following are some similar questions about Marriage and
Divorce. The answers may help you with you inquiry.
1) If a previous spouse was unfaithful, is it okay to
remarry?
2) Is having sex with a second husband sin and causing the
husband to sin?
3) Can a person who has been married more than once enter
the Kingdom as long as they have a living former spouse?
Question 1) If a
previous spouse was unfaithful, is it okay to remarry?
Notice Matthew 5:31-32
Matthew 5:31-32
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let
him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his
wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to
commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is
divorced committeth adultery.
Notice that the verse says, "saving for the cause of
fornication". If your spouse is unfaithful you are freed
from the marriage and may marry again without spiritual
penalty.
Now look at the commentary on this matter
Matthew 5:27-32
(1.) How the matter now stood with reference to divorce. It
hath been said (he does not say as before, It hath been said
by them of old time, because this was not a precept, as
those were, though the Pharisees were willing so to
understand it, <Matthew 19:7>, but only a permission),
"Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a bill
of divorce; let him not think to do it by word of mouth,
when he is in a passion; but let him do it deliberately, by
a legal instrument in writing, attested by witnesses; if he
will dissolve the matrimonial bond, let him do it solemnly."
Thus the law had prevented rash and hasty divorces; and
perhaps at first, when writing was not so common among the
Jews, that made divorces rare things; but in process of time
it became very common, and this direction of how to do it,
when there was just cause for it, was construed into a
permission of it for any cause, <Matthew 19:3>.
(2.) how this matter was rectified and amended by our
Saviour. He reduced the ordinance of marriage to its
primitive institution: They two shall be one flesh, not to
be easily separated, and therefore divorce is not to be
allowed, except in case of adultery, which breaks the
marriage covenant; but he that puts away his wife upon any
other pretence, causeth her to commit adultery, and him also
that shall marry her when she is thus divorced. Note, Those
who lead others into temptation to sin, or leave them in it,
or expose them to it, make themselves guilty of their sin,
and will be accountable for it. This is one way of being
partaker with adulterers <Psalm 50:18>.
~from Matthew Henry's Commentary
To be sure, let us look at the meaning of the word,
"fornication". In Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance we find:
4202 porneia (por-ni'-ah);
from 4203; harlotry (including adultery and incest);
figuratively, idolatry:
KJV-- fornication.
Traditionally in many churches, the problems of abuse and
fraud have been added to the meaning of this word. If a
spouse physically abuses another or has committed fraud such
as lying about one’s past or lying about how the physical,
emotional, mental or spiritual relationship will be, then
the abused spouse may be freed from that marriage. An
example of fraud would be if a man refused to have normal
sexual relations with his new wife after the wedding
ceremony.
Notice also the figurative meaning, "idolatry". When
something comes between a man and wife, then that thing can
be and often is a form of idolatry. Notice these verses:
Matthew 19:6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What
therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and
likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband:
and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own
body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent
for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and
prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not
for your incontinency.
Clearly, these verses show what the marriage should be
like. Husband and wife are one flesh, each body belongs to
the other and they are to have sexual relations with each
other. Notice the word "Defraud" in 1 Corinthians 7:5. The
verse clearly shows the trouble that will ensue if one
spouse defrauds the other.
These verses show the closeness that is intended by God for
the marriage. If something interferes with that, you have "porneia"
or fornication. Therefore, if a spouse commits fornication,
the other is free to divorce and remarry with no penalty
from God.
Question 2) Is having
sex with a second husband sin and causing the husband to
sin?
Clearly, if one is free to remarry, they are free to have
normal sexual relations with the new husband or wife. The
point is that God is merciful. He is not going to give
penalty to someone who was sinned against by the other. The
slate is clean. God is the same way about repentance. If
you sin (or should I say "when you
sin") and then repent, God gives you a clean
slate:
Isaiah 1:18
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though
your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;
though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
Question 3) Can a person
who has been married more than once enter the kingdom as
long as they have a living former spouse?
There is no problem here as there is no marriage in the
Kingdom of God. You are not the first to wonder about
this. Notice:
Matthew 22:23-30
23 The same day came to him the Sadducees, which say that
there is no resurrection, and asked him,
24 Saying, Master, Moses said, If a man die, having no
children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up
seed unto his brother.
25 Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first,
when he had married a wife, deceased, and, having no issue,
left his wife unto his brother:
26 Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the
seventh.
27 And last of all the woman died also.
28 Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of
the seven? for they all had her.
29 Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing
the scriptures, nor the power of God.
30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given
in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
This event is also covered in Luke 20:
Luke 20:34-36
34 And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this
world marry, and are given in marriage:
35 But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that
world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry,
nor are given in marriage:
36 Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto
the angels; and are the children of God, being the children
of the resurrection.
So, since, there is no marriage in the Kingdom of God, it
matters not the marital status we knew on earth.
Now, you might ask, "Why is there no marriage in the Kingdom
of God?" To understand the answer you must realize the
difference between physical existence and spiritual
existence. God invented marriage to give us an idea of what
being spiritual is like. Right now there is God, the Father
and Jesus Christ and they are composed of spirit. Being
spirit, they are one with one another:
John 3:6
6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which
is born of the Spirit is spirit.
John 4:24
24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship
him in spirit and in truth.
John 17:20-22
20 Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which
shall believe on me through their word;
21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and
I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world
may believe that thou hast sent me.
22 And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them;
that they may be one, even as we are one:
Note: Christ is stating
that He and His Father are one. In physical marriage, we
are "one flesh" which means the closest kind of
relationship. This close physical relationship (heart,
mind, emotion, body and spiritual) is a picture of what the
spiritual relationship will be. Our closeness to God will
be just like it is between Christ and God, the Father now.
AND it will be like that between each of us. As a spirit
being, you are much closer than any relationship of the
flesh. Since physical marriage is a picture of the spirit
state, there is no need for marriage in the Kingdom.
Notice also that Christ is praying to the Father that we,
His firstfruits, are one, AS THEY ARE ONE (verse 22). A
very heavy responsibility.
Now, having said that, this closeness of the spirit is
described AS A MARRIAGE!!
Revelation 21:2-3
2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down
from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her
husband.
3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold,
the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with
them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be
with them, and be their God.
Revelation 21:9-10
And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the
seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with
me, saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the
Lamb's wife.
10 And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high
mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem,
descending out of heaven from God,
Revelation 22:16-17
16 I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these
things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of
David, and the bright and morning star.
17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that
heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And
whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
Matthew 25:1-13
1 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten
virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the
bridegroom.
2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.
3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil
with them:
4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and
slept.
6 And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the
bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.
8 And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil;
for our lamps are gone out.
9 But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not
enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell,
and buy for yourselves.
10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they
that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the
door was shut.
11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord,
Lord, open to us.
12 But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know
you not.
13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour
wherein the Son of man cometh.
Clearly, Christ is the bridegroom and we are the bride.
back to the top |