SUBJECT:   Forgiveness

QUESTION:  How does one forgive the self?

ANSWER:

Not only does God forgive you when you ask, He helps you to forgive yourself.

1 John 3:19-20

19 And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.

20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.

Note:  God is greater than the heart.  If your heart (mind) is not forthcoming with forgiveness, then turn that over to God too because He is greater than our mind and will overcome our own lack of forgiveness for ourselves.

Here are some things you should know about forgiving yourself:

Forgiveness is not a feeling.

 It is a choice that must be made as a conscious act of the will and has nothing to do with your feelings. The choice doesn't change your feelings any more than your feelings nullify the choice. Making the choice is not the destination. It is only the beginning of the journey toward healing.

Forgiveness does not undo the damage or minimize the pain.

It does not sweep the conduct or the consequences under the rug where they will trip you up later. Forgiveness involves facing your feelings and dealing with them directly and honestly. Acknowledge the anger, the hurt, the guilt, the shame. But because your feelings will change daily, you must choose to anchor yourself in God's Word that never changes.

Forgiveness is a product of God's mercy.

If you feel that you don't deserve to be forgiven, you're right.  Forgiveness is a free gift from God based on the shed blood of Jesus Christ.  Just as you did nothing to earn the forgiveness that leads to salvation, you can do nothing to earn forgiveness for your sin now. You must choose to accept God's forgiveness and you must choose to forgive yourself. God commands that you do so (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Ephesians 4:31-32

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Forgiveness is a command.

God never commands us to do something without providing a way for us to obey Him. It is impossible to obey the command to forgive without relying on God's forgiveness to enable you. Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26). In time He will enable you, through the power of His Holy Spirit, to completely forgive yourself and anyone else who may have played a part in your abortion (Philippians 2:13). However, you must first decide to forgive. If you will allow Him, God will work in you to free you from the bondage of the guilt, the grief and the shame.

Notice this verse:

1 John 1:3-9

3 That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.

4 And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.

5 This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Note:  We take our sins to God, He forgives us and cleanses us from our unrighteousness.  This goes along with what we said about God having greater power than our heart.

Psalm 32:1-2

1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.

2 Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.

Note:  These verses go for ourselves too.  When we forgive ourselves, God blesses us.  He is not the author of guilt and He does not want us to have the emotion of guilt.  Now notice this:

Philippians 3:13-14

13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

This is key.  We must be constantly moving on in the Salvation process (overcoming sin, repenting, invoking Godly Principle -Galatians 5:22-23) and becoming more like Christ (Hebrews 6). This is a lifelong process.  It is one day and one hour at a time but always moving forward.  If we sin, we repent and move one inch closer to perfection.  The idea is to never give up.  God gives us the power through His Holy Spirit.  Ask Him for it in every prayer.