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SUBJECT:
Envy
QUESTION:
How does one overcome envy?
ANSWER:
Envy
The phrase “Green With Envy”
is common and quite accurately describes the illness that is
the 6th Deadly Sin — Envy. The obsession creates
a spiritual biliousness that blinds the sufferer to anything
outside the subject or subjects of the Envy. Like any over
indulgence it can also actually cause physical damage in the
form of real bodily sickness.
Envy is especially harmful
because all attention is placed outside of the person who
envies. He or she lives vicariously in a false state that
focuses not on what can be done to improve life and
experience, but on what someone else is doing. It is a
fantasy world of the worst kind because it has nothing
whatsoever to do with the person who envies and carries no
solution within it.
We have pointed out that the
opposite of a Deadly Sin is the positive energy inherent in
any potential — with Envy the opposite is Self Confidence.
While an envious person may often try to play the part of a
victim and blame the one(s) that is envied, the truth of it
is that there is such a lack of self confidence that there
is no attempt to make life better and the blame is the
excuse for the lack.
Self Confidence is the
ability to believe in oneself and the personal life
experience. It is not the same as self esteem which may, or
may not, be based in a real knowledge of ability and talent.
It is quite possible to like oneself without having any
clear awareness about how to handle the ups and downs of
everyday life. Self Confidence is the inner knowing that no
matter what the next day or week or year may bring, there
are the tools, the strength and the determination to handle
it for oneself.
It never occurs to the Self
Confident soul to take stock of what other people are doing
because the unfolding of life is both vital and interesting
— no matter what is going on. In other words, there is no
need to compare because the creativity of personal
experience is more interesting and worth all the energy
necessary to stay involved.
Someone really focused not
only couldn't be bothered with wasting time and energy on
Envy, but wouldn't be likely to even notice such a
possibility. Why? Because their time and talent is used to
figure out what they want to do and then go about finding
ways to do it. The poor souls caught in the sin of Envy
rarely accomplish much, if anything, and live in a world of
confusion and apprehension. All they pay attention to is
what someone else is doing and it makes them ill.
One of the most insidious
forms of Envy occurs is the sphere of romance. If your
"loved one" has a wondering eye and you find yourself being
envious of the "other" men or women that are getting
attention, make sure you put your focus where it belongs —
not on the outsiders but on your supposed special love. If
the relationship is not compelling enough to keep that
person's attention, there is something very wrong. Take
steps and remember it's your life and you deserve to have
the most compatible relationship possible. Look at the level
of friendship rather than the romance. Friends don't do
dirty to each other and friends always make the best lovers.
Whether it is in the
workplace, the school, the church, the home or in simple
social interaction, seeing a situation with Envy means the
situation is being seen through a false lens. The deadly
aspect of the sin of Envy is that it is a living death,
since the personality of the person has abdicated real
experience for the role of an unhappy spectator. Little is
learned and less in appreciated since life is seen from the
outside.
*****
ENVY
What is envy? It is
resenting God's goodness in other's lives. It is ignoring
God's goodness in my own life.
The Bible says it is very
destructive and it will cause you much pain in your life.
I. WHY SHOULD I AVOID ENVY?
Four reasons:
1.
It distracts me from my life purpose.
When I get envious and start
looking at other people, I loose my focus. I stop
concentrating on what God
wants for my life and I
start looking at what other people are doing. I say, "If I
only had their spiritual gifts,
their heart, their
personality, their experiences, their background, their
money..." And I get my focus off
God's plan for me and it
causes me to be distracted from my life purpose.
Luke 9:62
And Jesus said unto him, No
man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is
fit for the kingdom of God.
Remember the 84 Olympics and
Mary Decker looked over her shoulder at Zola Budd and
tripped. Because she got distracted she lost the race and
was disqualified. Everybody had expected her to win.
Would you agree today there
are many things that can trip you up and cause you to be
distracted from your life purpose? All you have to do is
turn on the television. Advertisements are designed to
create envy.
2.
It causes conflict.
James 4:1
From whence come wars and
fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts
that war in your members?
Don't they come from your
desires that battle within you?" When I want what you have,
that's called envy and that creates conflict. In envy I not
only want my grass to be greener than yours, I want yours to
turn brown!
Remember playing King of the
Hill as a child? There's only room for one at the top.
Adults still play King of the Hill. They just do it in more
subtle ways. Like by the kind of car they drive. Or the
color of their credit card. We play the game of
one-up-man-ship. That's envy and if you get caught in that
rut you will miss God's purpose for your life, because
you're focusing on the wrong things.
American culture is built on
envy. We call it competition. In every area of society --
athletics, wealth, prestige, achievement -- we are taught
from childhood to compare. So we compare grades, clothes,
schools, wealth, parents...
Cartoon [two
guys talking to each other]: Envy has given me a
sense of purpose, a motive to compete and climb to the top.
If I didn't have envy, I wouldn't have the power and I
wouldn't be envied by everyone else whose sense of purpose
motivates them to compete with me and climb to the top.
Trust envy. It makes the system work.
That's more true than it is
funny. It does cause conflict in our lives.
Ecclesiastes 4:4
Again, I considered all
travail, and every right work, that for this a man is envied
of his neighbour. This is also vanity and vexation of
spirit.
I discovered why people
work themselves to death more than they need to. It's
because they envy the things other people have so they just
keep overworking.
3.
Envy leads to other sins.
James 3:16
For where envying and strife
is, there is confusion and every evil work.
Can envy cause a person to
lie? To gossip? To murder? Envy causes all kinds of
problems in people's lives. When you're green with envy,
you're ripe for trouble!
Do you know why Jesus was
crucified? Why the Pharisees crucified him? The Bible
tells us in Matthew the Pharisees crucified Jesus because of
envy. They were jealous. He was more popular than they
were. All of a sudden all the people who had been following
their religious rituals were following Him. "It was for
envy they sought to send Him to the stake." It leads to all
kinds of other sins.
4.
It makes one miserable.
It destroys your happiness.
It's self destructive. "A heart at peace gives life to the
body, but envy rots the bones." It eats you up. Envy is
worse than cancer. It will eat you alive if you don't watch
out.
Did you see the movie
Amadeus? Remember Salari and the envy he had for Mozart?
He was so consumed with this passion and envy against Mozart
and his ability that it drove him crazy. It literally drove
him crazy.
Envy can do that. You can
get so preoccupied with fanaticizing somebody else's failure
that you're envious of, you become the loser in life. Envy
does not work. It is simply self-destructive. It also
promotes all kinds of pity parties. " He gets all the
breaks. It's not fair. He's the lucky one."
Story of priest whom the
devil was trying to tempt and get him to sin. The devil
tried lust and that didn't work. He tried anger and that
didn't work. Greed and that didn't work. Finally he said to
him "Your brother has just been appointed bishop." It's
always when somebody else gets one up on us, particularly in
our own profession. Doctors envy other doctors. Secretaries
envy other secretaries. Businessmen envy other
businessmen. Pastors envy other pastors. We have siblings
envying other siblings. But it eats us up on the inside.
Luke 12:15
And he said unto them, Take
heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life
consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he
possesseth.
We need to treat envy as if
it were a cancer. If you had a growth on your body, you'd
get it cut out as quickly as possible. Envy is a cancer
that will prevent you from taking the next step in the
process of building your life mission. You have to just
focus on what God wants for me, not what God wants to do in
other people's lives.
II. HOW TO OVERCOME ENVY
So how do I cut envy out of
my life? How do I get rid of it? Five steps. The Bible is
real clear about this. It says there are five things you do
to get rid of envy.
1. Resist.
Resist comparing myself to
others.
2
Corinthians 10:12
For we dare not make
ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that
commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by
themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are
not wise.
Circle the last two words
"not wise". God says it's dumb. It's stupid to compare
yourselves to other people. Comparing is the root of envy.
As long as you compare you'll always find somebody who's
doing a better job, and you get discouraged. Or you find
somebody you're doing a better job than and you get full of
pride. Either way you're dead in the water! The Bible says
don't compare.
One day after the
resurrection Jesus was talking to Peter and John and tells
Peter, "You're going to die a violent death in serving me."
Peter: "Oh?" and looking toward John "What about John? How's
he going to die?" Jesus says, in the original Greek, "It's
none of your business!" He says, "What's it to you? I have
a plan for your life so what does it matter if John lives
until I come back? I have a plan that's unique to you.
Don't worry about what my plan is for somebody else."
Galatians
6:4
But let every man prove his
own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone,
and not in another.
This is a very important
verse to teach your children. Teach them to never measure
themselves by others. They can have the personal
satisfaction of work done well and don't need to compare
themselves to others. It really doesn't matter what their
grade is if they've done their best. It really doesn't
matter if they get the award or the outstanding picture if
they've done their best. And in a society where we live by
competition, parents need to provide an antidote to that so
kids aren't overwhelmed by envy. Don't compare. Envy is a
choice. You can choose to compare yourself and get envious
or you can choose not to.
2. Recognize your
uniqueness.
We spent all of the second
series on that. Recognizing my uniqueness, you are uniquely
shaped and
nobody will ever be just
like you.
Psalm
139:13
For thou hast possessed my
reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
The Bible says that God
designed you, specifically designed you, in your mother's
womb -- you have designer genes.
Envy is an expression of
inferiority. And it is based on insecurity. Envy occurs when
you don't realize how unique you are. There's nobody in the
world like you. When you try to be like somebody else that
causes envy. The antidote is to recognize your uniqueness.
Psalm
139:15
My substance was not hid
from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought
in the lowest parts of the earth.
God not only planned what
you were going to be, but He's planned out your life. That
is, He has a plan for it. He has a customized life plan.
When you understand that, do you see the stupidity of envy?
When God has a customized plan for you, you shouldn't say "
I wish God had made me taller (or shorter, or darker, or
lighter, or bigger, or smaller, or smarter, or dumber, in
another country or whatever)." He has a customized plan for
your life. My advice is focus on letting your life shine
and forget trying to put everybody else's light out.
3. Rejoice in what I do
have.
Ecclesiastes 6:9
Better is the sight of the
eyes than the wandering of the desire: this is also vanity
and vexation of spirit.
There's a myth that says, I
must have more than you in order to be happy. No, you
don't. Another myth that says, I must be like you in order
to be happy. No, you don't. When you allow those things to
happen, then the desire to acquire begins to consume your
life. You begin to be possessed by your possessions. When
you have something that if God has told you to give it away
and you're not free to give it away, then you don't own it,
it owns you. Jesus said that a man's life does not consist
in the abundance of things he possesses. So rejoice in what
I do have and don't be envious of what I don't have.
Philippians 4:11
Not that I speak in respect
of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am,
therewith to be content.
God says, I want you to
learn contentment. Don't try to be somebody you're not.
Don't envy somebody. You're unique, you're different.
Rejoice in what you do have and don't worry about what you
don't. Some single people wish they were married, some
married people wish they were single. Paul says "I've
learned to be content." Circle "learned". It is not a
natural trait. Contentment is something you have to learn.
Many of you need to enroll in the school of contentment. The
first lesson is -- I already have more than I deserve.
Contentment is understanding
that God has provided all I need for me in my current
happiness, not tomorrow, not yesterday, but for today.
4. Respond to others in
love.
Why?
1
Corinthians 14:4
He that speaketh in an
unknown tongue edifieth himself; but he that prophesieth
edifieth the church.
Love your neighbor as
yourself." Is that natural? No. Is that easy to do? No.
Is that what the world teaches? No. Is that what the best
selling books tell us to do? No. But it's the key to
happiness. Love your neighbor as yourself. Learn to love
other people. How do you do that?
Romans
12:15
Rejoice with them that do
rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Envy naturally does the
exact opposite of this. Envy rejoices when they see
somebody have a failure and weeps when somebody has a
success. But love rejoices with those who rejoice and weeps
with those who weep.
When you are envious you
miss out on so much happiness in life because envy keeps you
from sharing in other people's happiness. When they have a
baby, if you're envious of it, you can't share in their
joy. When they get married, if you're envious of it, you
can't share in their joy. When they get a promotion, if
you're envious, you can't share in the joy. If the only
time you have joy is when things happen to you, you're going
to miss out on an awfully lot of joy in life. On the other
hand, if you learn not to be envious, and you learn to enjoy
other people's positive experiences, you'll be happy most of
your life. Because good things are happening to other people
all the time. And when you can share in their joy then you
get to share it. You get benefited even though it didn't
happen to you.
5. Refocus on pleasing
God.
Colossians
3:2
Set your affection on things
above, not on things on the earth.
Look at life from God's
view point. Realize that material things are only
temporary. Focus on what's going to last forever. Don't
set your mind on things that are not going to last 10
years. Focus your life on things that will last for
eternity. When you do that, competition becomes irrelevant.
When you do that, climbing the ladder of success becomes
irrelevant.
---END---
*****
In fighting envy, remember
that the best way to remove sinful thoughts from the mind is
to REPLACE them with Spiritual thoughts. Reread my article
about overcoming sin which is located at:
http://www.intercontinentalcog.org/bibleclassspecificstudies7.shtml
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